“Your phone number. Your home address—she’s at your house right now, right?”
“Yes.”
“Great. So yeah, your home address. A copy of your driver's license. I will accept a picture via text. I would also like a picture of you and Claudia together so I can see that she is in one piece.”
“We can arrange all that.”
“Good. If I actually trusted the police I’d send them there to do a wellness check, but she sounds normal so I figure that would be way more trouble than it’s worth. Plus I don’t want to get one of you shot by accident.”
“I appreciate that.”
“That’s it. Be good to her. Or I swear to god—”
“I understand. I promise you she’s in good hands. Do you want the picture of us together right now, before I give her the phone back?”
“Actually yes.”
“Hold on.” I grab Titus by the collar, then wave Claudia over to the couch.
“What are we doing?”
“Quick family photo so your friend knows I’m a real person and you’re not dead.” I sit and pull her into my lap. Titus jumps on the couch beside me. I stretch my arm out and snap two pictures. Claudia is scowling in both. “You look like you’re having a real blast.”
“Oh sorry.” We try again and I manage not to laugh when she flashes a wide grin and a thumbs up. It takes a few seconds but I text the photo to her friend that she has saved as Mrs. Darcy.
“Photo sent.”
“Got it. Thank you.” She pauses. “Yeah, okay. You’re kinda hot. Has that dog had its shots?”
“Yes. One hundred percent healthy and mountain rabies free. And he doesn’t bite.”
“Good to know. Well… Thank you. I still need all your information though.”
“I’ll text it over as soon as you and Claudia wrap up your conversation.”
“Thank you—”
“You can call me Shep.”
“Thank you, Shep. Seriously don’t hurt her. I will find you and I will fuck you up.”
I do laugh this time, but only because she’s caught me off guard. “I promise I will return her safely to the East coast.”
“Great. Let me talk to her.”
“Here.” I hand Claudia back her phone and start to put away the rest of her groceries. I catch a glimpse of her as she slips into the bedroom and closes the door, but not before making the “just one minute” gesture with her finger.
She’s in there for longer than a minute. I put away all the groceries and set the steak for dinner in its marinade. I’m about to get back to work at my dining room table when she finally comes out of my bedroom. Titus is knocked out, but he lifts his head the minute she opens the door.
“Sorry about that.”
“I’m not going to say it’s okay,” I tell her.
“You’re right, it’s not. I just didn’t know how to tell her. ‘I’m going to track down this guy who saved my life to see if he’ll give me a hug’ doesn't usually come out the way it’s intended.” It’s funny, but I can’t let this go.
“She sounds like she really cares about you.”
“She does.”