Ro paused to swallow down the painful knot of emotion blocking her throat. The jewelry in her hands blurred with unshed tears, but she blinked them away before they could fall.
“I remember stopping then, trembling as I fought to keep it together. Just long enough to get to the end. That’s what I started praying for. I was standing at the front of a church, praying for the strength to make it through the rest of my speech…the rest of the day…and then I saw it.” The memory was as clear as if it had happened that very morning. “This larger than life shadow standing between the church’s big double doors that had been left open at the end of the aisle. At first, I thought my grief-stricken mind was seeing things. But then the shadow started to move, and the light coming through the stained glass window hit the man’s face just so, and that’s when I realized…it was him.”
“Brody.”
She faced her friend with a nod. It took Ro a few seconds, but when she finally looked Megan in the eyes, she didn’t find a single drop of anger, resentment, or betrayal there. Only the love of a sister.
“He was still wearing his fatigues.” She smiled sadly. “He told me later that his SEAL Team had just gotten back from a three-month deployment. Somewhere overseas that he couldn’t tell me about. But instead of going home and getting the rest he’d obviously needed, your crazy, stupidly sweet brother had hopped on the first red-eye flight to Chicago he could find, just so he could be there.”
“For you.”
She nodded again, going to her bed and sitting on its edge. “That was it. That was the moment I fell completely and hopelessly in love with your brother.” Her lungs filled and expelled a deep, cleansing breath. “And I don’t think I’ve ever really stopped loving him.”
“Oh, Ro.” The mattress dipped from Megan’s weight as the other woman sat down beside her. Putting an arm around Ro’s shoulders, her sweet friend pulled her in for a side-hug. “Why didn’t you ever pursue things with Brody? You had to know I wouldn’t care. I mean, it’s not like you and I made some stupid promise like my idiot fiancé did with my brother.”
Ro chuckled at that. She was still astonishing to her that Christian had kept his distance from the woman he loved for years, all because he’d made some ridiculous promise to Brody back when they were all kids.
Boys go to Jupiter to get more…
“I didn’t think you’d care.” She licked her glossy lips.
“Then why hold back?”
“For one, I was pretty sure Brody had zero interest in me back then. And two…” Ro let her voice trail off, the second half of her list of excuses much more painful to admit.
“And two?”
“My dad.” A quiet admission. “You were there. You saw what happened to him. My mom’s death destroyed him. The doctors all said the alcohol destroyed his liver. And yeah, the bottle may have been the bullet, but…” Her voice cracked, but she cleared it and moved on. “His broken heart is what pulled the trigger.”
“You’re not your father, Ro.”
“You don’t know that. HellIdon’t know that. My dad loved my mom with every cell in his body, and when she died, the man he used to be died with her. And I’m just like him, Meg.”
She slapped a palm to her chest, the conversation diminishing her earlier resolve to come clean with Brody about her true feelings.
“No, you’re not.”
“Really? Because I already lose sleep when Delta Team is away on some super-secret mission that will almost certainly put your brother in harm’s way. If Brody and I did get involved, and something happened to him…” Her voice threatened to buckle again, but she managed to swallow down the thick knot of emotions and finished what needed to be said. “If I finally had the chance to be with your brother, and I lost him… Megan, I don’t think that’s a loss I could survive.”
A long stretch of silence passed before her friend spoke up again. Ro had expected words of support and understanding. Maybe even an apology, not that anything Meg had said or done warranted one. But neither of those were the response she received.
Instead, her bestie laid it all out there, calling Ro on her bullshit the way a true friend should.
“So that’s it?” Megan shot her a look. “You’d rather live the rest of your life, wondering ‘what if’ than take a chance and see where things with you and my brother could go?”
“I just told you.” Ro pushed herself to her heeled feet. “I won’t end up like my dad.” Shecouldn’t.
“Okay.”
The other woman’s white flag waved a little too easily. With a frown, Ro looked over to where Megan was still sitting. “Okay?”
“Sure.” Her friend stood and made her way across the room. “I just have one more question for you. If you can give me a good, solid answer, I’ll drop the subject of you and Brody forever. Scout’s honor.”
“You were never a scout.”
“Whatever, you know what I mean.”
Ro’s gaze narrowed with suspicion. “What happens if I can’t give you a good, solid answer? Which, by the way, sounds far too subjective for this little deal you’re trying to make with me.”