She gets me, too.
One day. One single freaking day, and he’d already made a connection that ran far deeper than any he’d experienced with the women from his past. And wasn’t thedepthof that connection more important than the number of days, weeks, months, or years it took for two people to find?
Ivan thought so. Which left the last thing he needed to cover…
“I haven’t been with anyone for over a year,” he shared honestly. “But we keep up-to-date condoms in a go-bag in the closet, just in case.”
He needed to protect her every way he knew how.
Cera’s dark brows arched with a humorous grin. “You keep condoms in a go-bag…in a suite used as a safe-house for clients you’re protecting?”
The second her question left her lips—lips still swollen from his kisses, by the way—Ivan’s brain caught up to where hers had gone.
“It’s not what you think, I promise.” Ivan kissed the tip of her adorable nose. “With the work Jax and I do, and the types of people we sometimes have to…work with…we never know the situation we’ll find ourselves in.”
She still didn’t say anything back. Instead the amazing woman leaned up and began to kiss him. On the mouth. His bearded cheek. His chin. His neck.
When she got to his chest, Ivan had momentarily sent the rest of the world away, his sole focus lasering back on the woman lying naked in his arms.
“You still good with this, Cer?” The shortened version of her name felt as right to him as the rest of her.
“Oh, yeah.” She flicked her tongue across his distended nipple. “I’m better than good.”
Ivan closed his eyes, the basal groan reverberating from within impossible to fully contain.
“By the way, it’s been two years for me, and I take the pill to keep things regulated. So we’re good on both those fronts.”
Two years? Damn. And he thoughthewas deprived.
His bout of celibacy had been of his own choosing. Cera’s probably was, too, he supposed. For him, it had been about respecting the woman he allowed into his life. Believing he had nothing to give, he hadn’t wanted to risk another unplanned pregnancy with a woman he didn’t love.
That shit wasn’t fair to anyone. The woman. Him. And the one who always got put in the middle, the innocent child.
Ivan guessed the woman in his arms had vastly different reasons for not letting anyone in on an intimate level these past two years. If he had to place a bet, his wager would be on self-preservation.
She’d already suffered a trauma so awful, sounimaginable, most people couldn’t even begin to grasp its devastating aftershocks. Couple that with a lengthy stint at a mental health facility and the attempt on her own life while she was there…
That particular intel had been uncovered last night, after his phone call with Declan. The mental breakdown the heartbroken woman had suffered upon learning of her family’s deaths. The deep, dark depression she fell into almost immediately.
The incident report detailing the events leading up to and including the moment Cera had managed to sneak a non-serrated knife from the trash. According to the attached police report, the weapon hadn’t been brought to the facility with the intent of using it as a weapon.
A nurse who’d recently been hired had brought it with her to work…to use on the chicken breast she’d brought for lunch that day. She accidentally dumped it with her trash, and Cera—sharp woman that she was—had spotted it the second it happened.
She watched and waited for the nurse to leave and the others in attendance to look away. When the opportunity presented itself, she’d picked the knife from the trash, slid it in her pants, and went back to her room. If the custodian hadn’t come by to check on a vent in the ceiling just outside her door, Cera would have bled out on her bed.
She could’ve died.
Twice.
He slid his focus to the small, circular scar on her upper left chest. Just above her collar bone. Lowering his head, Ivan placed a soft, lingering kiss there. His way of letting her know he saw, and he accepted.
Lord knows, he had his fair share of scars. But just as she saw and accepted his, he reciprocated without hesitation.
I see you, Cera. With you, it’s like I can finally see it all.
“Make love to me, Ivan.” She pressed her lower body against his. “Please.”
“Never have to beg me for that, sweetheart.” He nibbled her bottom lip. “Not ever.”