He watched with concealed amusement as her wheels turned. Knew the second understanding struck.
The gathered lines between her furrowed brow smoothed instantly, those round eyes of hers growing as large as the plate resting on the table before her.
“Oh!” Cera fell all over herself trying to set the record straight. “No, no, no. That wasn’t…I mean, no judgement to those who do, but…I didn’t…it’s just…threesomes aren’t really my—”
Ivan’s rumbled laugh cut her off. He’d done his damnedest not to laugh, but fuck. How could he not when she was constantly surprising him?
Less than a day, and she already has you laughing.
Yeah, that was something special. She was special. In ways he couldn’t wait to discover.
“The ‘threesome’ I was referring to was me, the guys I’ve dated, and my stalker. Not anactual…” A loud, self-deprecating sigh filled the air between them. Balancing her elbows on the table’s smooth surface, she dropped her head, cradling it in her hands. “I promise, I’m not usually this big of a ditz. Believe it or not, I’m actually a fairly intelligent person.”
“I know you’re smart, Cera.” His shoulders shook with another low chuckle. “I’ve seen your transcripts.”
She lifted her head slowly. When her golden gaze met his, Ivan realized it was the exact wrong thing to say.
“Right. Because you already know everything about me.”
“Not everything.” He shook his head. But the damage was already done.
Fuck. The comment was intended to put her at ease where his opinion of her intelligence was concerned. Instead he’d slapped her with a stark reminder of not only her past, but who he was and why she was here.
Way to go, asshole.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
Becoming focused on the food in front of her, Cera picked at the golden crisp breading of a half-eaten strip before taking the smallest of bites. “It’s okay.” Her lips curved into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I know what you meant.”
Did she, though?
The superbly uncomfortable silence that followed left his gut tightening and his mind racing. He needed to say something. Anything. Change the subject to something that wouldn’t upset her.
She’s given so much of herself to you already. Maybe it’s time you gave a little of yourself to her.
Ivan’s heart punched him hard, his gut tightening on reflex. He wasn’t one to share or burden others with his personal struggles. Only Jax was privy to the worst of it, and even hedidn’t know about the guilt that weighed him down every damn day…
Guilt over things he did while serving his country. For the loss of a child he had no business conceiving, but who’d left a hole in his heart the size of Texas. For not being there for his sister when she’d needed him most.
He never opened up toanyoneabout that shit. Not ever. Yet sitting in that booth, in the same diner he’d eaten at more times than he could count, Ivan heard himself telling a woman he barely knew all of it.
“My sister was killed, too.” The uttered confession felt foreign on his tongue. “Her name was Nina.”
His chest became tight with her name. Talking about his baby sister wasn’t common practice. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he spoke of her aloud.
Maybe it should be common practice. Maybe if you talked about her more, she wouldn’t seem quite so…gone.
Cera dropped the uneaten portion of her chicken strip back onto her plate. Staring slack jawed, those eyes of hers filled with an empathy only someone like her could possess.
“Oh, Ivan.”
“It was several years ago, now.” He cleared his throat. “Back when Jax and I were still with the SEALs.”
A look of surprise flashed across her gorgeous face. “You were a Navy SEAL?”
“And Jax was our team leader.” He nodded, then shook his head with a smirk. “Smug bastard saved my ass more than once.”
Cera was quiet for a moment and then, “Is that why you work for him? You feel as though you owe him?”