I look up and meet her concerned gaze. “You’re right. I’m not okay, but I will be.”
“Good girl.”
“I’ll just go change and get out of your way.”
I climb the stairs, and with each tread, I forge my resolve.I will be okay.
As soon as I walk into my apartment, my gaze locks on the crumpled ball of paper I kicked into the fireplace with every intention of burning it, but I haven’t yet. The crumpled ball of paper that snapped me out of my haze. The one that wouldn’t let me keep pretending I was dreaming this nightmare.
I hate you, Kane. I fucking hate you.
And yet I drop to my hands and knees, reaching into the ashes to retrieve it.
The words blur as I spread it out on the floor, tearing it in several places as I rock back and forth, attempting to fend off the tears that prick at my eyes.
I will not cry for you again. I’m done.
I grit my teeth and focus on the address, memorizing it before pushing off the floor to stand tall with steel in my spine and my chin held high.
I will be okay. Fake it until you make it.
With a deep breath, I head into my room and change my clothes. I’m going to turn trash into dollar bills and buy myself a new life that is so full of everything, I won’t have time to think about the hit man who betrayed me and then broke me.
7
Temperance
I’m not quite as strong as I hoped. Instead of going to the warehouse with all my newfound strength and emotional armor, I end up on a park bench in front of Saint Louis Cathedral. Not here to pray, but to watch other peoplelive.
Tourists stand slack-jawed as a small group of musicians wow them with jazz. A pickpocket sees me watching him and decides to leave a woman’s purse untouched.Rare. A woman sits at her card table, a burgundy-and-gold cloth spread across it as she waits for the next tourist to sit for a tarot reading.
“You. Come.”
I shake my head. “No, thank you.”
“I’ll read for free.”
“Nothing’s free in this town,” I reply.
“For you. Only now. Your sadness is driving away my customers.”
Well, damn.And here I thought I was doing a good job of pretending I was a normal person taking in the atmosphere.
She waves me over again, and it’s clear she won’t leave me alone.
“Fine.” I rise from the bench and eyeball the kid who looks like he’d love to snatch my purse. “Not today, boy.”
He glares at me before he disappears.
I sit in the folding chair and stare at the woman. Her skin is dark and smooth. Her hair, graying at the temples, is mostly hidden by a beautiful head wrap.
“I’ll read for free, and then you’ll be less sad and I’ll have paying customers again.”
“You badgered me into it. Let’s do this.”
I clutch my purse on my lap as she has me knock the deck and then shuffle it. We split and restack it, and she finally lays out the first card.
Death.