I turn away. “Clothes, Eli. And feel lucky I didn’t shoot you for stripping me naked while I was unconscious.”
He sighs. “So, it’s like that? Not even a thank-you?”
I head for the bathroom and shoot him a glare over my bare shoulder. “It’s been like that since you decided to show Lindsey Jo the backseat of your truck when I was seventeen and dumb enough to think about giving up all my plans for you.”
Elijah pops up, his shoulders squared, and I keep my attention on his face.
“And you think that was an accident, Temperance? You think I didn’t know exactly what I was doing?”
“What do you mean?” My fingers grip the sheet tightly enough to tear holes through it.
His eyes narrow. “If I left the choice on the table, me or college, we both know you would’ve tried to do both. And then when shit got too hard, you would’ve dropped out. You think I wanted to be responsible for that? For you letting go of your dream, and watching the resentment build every time you had to pull a double shift at Rickety to help make ends meet? I didn’t want that for you.”
My mouth drops open. “You did it ... on purpose?”
Elijah’s sharp nod tears off a web of lies covering my past to reveal the truth. “Sure as fuck did. Could barely get my dick hard knowing that as soon as I touched her, I was giving up the best thing that could ever happen to me. Because I wanted better for you.” His gaze drops to the bed. “Still want better for you.”
The swirl of intense emotions threatens to spill tears down my face. I turn, unable to face him, and rush into the small bathroom. With my palm on the door, I shut it soundlessly and collapse onto the edge of the old claw-foot tub.
For years, I’ve held a grudge against Elijah for taking my virginity and then cheating on me only weeks later. His actions were what finally made me decide to cut ties with the bayou and run as far and fast as I could in the opposite direction, working my ass off to make sure I never had to go back.
And I never knew the truth of why he did it.
My throat burns with the punch of reality.
I’ve hated him for years when he didn’t deserve it. Elijah was a realist. He knew I wasn’t a quitter. I wouldn’t have quit on him ... but I might have quit on school if it came down to it. He gutted me, but he did it so I could have the future I desperately wanted.
He’s the noble one, and I’m the harpy.
I take several deep breaths, and when my knees no longer feel so shaky, I rise and face the mirror.
My decision from moments ago—go forward and not back—seems more callous now than it did. Nothing is black and white, and apparently nothing is what it seems on the surface. Elijah isn’t the cheating asshole I thought he was, all about bagging as many chicks as possible instead of committing to me.
Even this rush of emotion doesn’t change the fact that what I felt for him is in the past. But at least I can look back at our past without bitterness and anger now.
He’s not for me, but I do owe him an apology, and maybe a thank-you.
I splash cold water on my face, wipe the raccoon circles from under my eyes, and attempt to tame my hair into a ponytail before slipping on the robe I keep on the back of the door.
When I head back into the bedroom, Elijah has his back to me as he pulls aDevereux RecyclingT-shirt over his head. The taut muscles of his back show scars that weren’t there before. Scars I recognize from helping patch Rafe up a few times.
Bullet wounds.
I don’t even want to know how he got them, but it’s another reminder that going back to the life I left in the bayou means stepping onto the wrong side of the law.
I don’t do that anymore.
I’m a successful upstanding citizen.
Granted, my boss is married to the scariest criminal in the city, but I decide that’s not really a relevant factoid.
Because nothing’s black and white.
Elijah breaks the silence before I do. “I just texted my guy, and your Bronco hasn’t moved. They’ve kept hands off and haven’t chopped it. He also said they don’t like having anything sitting intact too long, so we gotta move if we want to get there before they lose patience and it’s gone.”
“Thank you.”
He nods. “No problem.”