And that action in itself was a declaration: That she wasn’t just coming here to talk. No, she was coming here for action.
“Thank you for coming,” Cam said.
“Of course.”
“You want a seat?” Travis asked, gesturing to the couch that Cam had been sitting on.
“I’m good to stand,” she replied.
A warm hand landed softly on her shoulder. “Sit, sweetheart. We’ve got some major stuff to discuss, so you might as well get comfortable.”
Lia swallowed, her throat drying up like the Sahara. “Umm … okay.”Major stuff to discussmeant that Cam wasn’t shutting this down immediately. It meant … she might actually be getting her wish.
Holy freaking shit.
Lia sank into the comfortable, old couch and laid her hands palm-down on her thighs.
At least she lay one of them down, because Cam also sat, reached out, and laced his fingers through the other hand and pulled it between them.
Lia’s eyes went to his, her brows rising.
“First thing you gotta know, sweetheart, is this is all about you. Nothing goes forward unless you’re on board completely. I know some ideas seem good until you start putting them into practice, so you gotta know that any time you want to call this off, you can.”
The hope and excitement that had been building within Lia fell. “So … you’re already expecting this to fail? Or for me to bail?”
“No,” Travis interrupted. “We’re putting it out there that this only happens if you’re totally comfortable. There’s no point in beating around the bush—you’ve been through hell, and we both know that you’re taking a heck of a leap asking for what you want. Have no doubt that we want to give it to you, but we also want you to know that just because we start this, it doesn’t mean you’re locked in. You can say ‘no’ anytime you want.”
So they were giving her a free pass if she wanted an out. With the panic attacks she’d had every time she’d gotten physically near a man those first few months, that might have been necessary, but not now. Still, this seemed to be important to them to establish, so she would leave it alone.
“Okay. Duly noted. What’s next?” She pointed to her shirt. “You want me to strip?”
Cam squeezed her captive hand. “Slow down, sweetheart. We’re in no hurry. We’ve got all the time we need to ease into this.”
And that’s the problem, Lia thought. She’d been easing into this for months, and had just now finally worked up the courage to ask for what she wanted. If she didn’t make the move, there was no telling how long her courage would last. She refused to let this opportunity pass her by simply because the thread of courage slipped from her fingers.
“I don’t want to take this slow. I’ve been taking things slow since I got here. I’m ready.”
“What if I’m not?” This came from Cam—the man who was always sure of himself and ready for anything.
It hadn’t occurred to her that her readiness didn’t have any bearing on theirs. Was she forcing them into this?Omigod. What if the only reason they’re considering it is out of pity?She thought about Travis’s words.You’ve been through hell. Were they just doing their civic duty by giving the poor, damaged girl what she needed to get herself whole again?
Oh. Hell. No.
Shit. And here was the problem with making the first move. She’d never know if they would’ve ever made one or if she was the only one really feeling this. It wasn’t like there were many other available women within the walls. What if they were just agreeing because she was the only viable option?
Doubts assailed Lia from every angle.
This is a horrible idea.
She stood, bolting from the couch, but her hand was caught fast by the still-seated man.
He tugged her back.
“Lia, what the hell?”
“I … this was a mistake … I’m … I shouldn’t have done this. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
Travis was off his seat and in front of her within seconds.