She stared directly at me.“Rhett, you’ve spent a year wasting your potential.Wasting your life.Turning in that badge wasn’t the end of the line.If you ask me, it was the best thing you’ve ever done, but instead of finding a new purpose, you’re shutting everyone out.Life is passing you by while you sit on the sidelines.You’re better than that.Figure out what you want and go after it.That’s what I’m going to do.No more of this wallowingnonsense.”
Then she moved on to each of my brothers, giving them their own tough-love speech, but instead of listening to what she thought they were doing wrong, I replayed her words to me inmyhead.
I was surprised she thought turning in my badge was the best thing I’d ever done.But then again, she’d buried a husband and a son because they’dbeencops.
Figure out what you want and go after it.That’s the part that stuck with me.But what the hell didIwant?
After she finished dispensing her wisdom, Mom’s eyes filled with tears as she extended both hands and wegrippedthem.
“I love you boys.Please be safe.This family has borne too much loss.It’s time for happiness.”Her lips formed into a trembling smile despite her tears.“And maybe some grandbabies tospoil.”
When she released our hands, Rock offered her another tissue to dab at the tears clinging to herlashes.
None of us volunteered to go out and impregnate someone, but if I had to guess what Rock was thinking, I’d say he was running through a list of women in his head to decide if there was anyonesuitable.
An image of one woman flashed through my mind, and it wasn’t the dark-haired beauty I’d lost to Rix last year.I had already moved on from my hang-up with Valentina before my life went to shit.No, the woman who came to mind was a redhead with a quick smile and an even quickerbrain.
Ariel Sampson.The girl next door.My best friend’s little sister.A woman off-limits to me who I’d worked hard to forget since the last time she blew in from the West Coast and then left just asquickly.
That red hair of hers had stood out like a flame against the slim-fitting black dress she’d worn to the funeral, bright enough to penetrate even the haze of mygrief.
She hadn’t approached me.Hadn’t approached anyofus.
And I probably wouldn’t see her again for another five years,ifever.
“Yougettingout?”
Rock’s question shook me from my thoughts, making me realize we were parked in front of myhotel.
“Yeah.Sorry.”I shook each of my brothers’ hands before hugging my mom tight.“Take care, Mom.Iloveyou.”
She squeezed me in return, and I climbed out of the limo to watch them turn the corner and disappear.My family would never be the sameagain.
The missed calls still registered in my phone’s memory would haunt me for the rest of my life.What was Dad going to tell me?Why the fuck didn’t I answer?Regret and shame consumed me in equalmeasure.
I stood before the tall building, dreading the idea of going up to my room and staring at the TV for hours, hoping it would drown out my grief.No.Not tonight.Tonight, I was gettingdrunk.
I headed inside, ready to get the hell out of my suit and into jeans so I could make my way to my old haunt where people would leave me to drink my whiskey inpeace.
4
Ariel
Heath tookDad back to his place since the windows were blown out of our childhood home from the force of the blast that destroyed the Hennessys’ house next door.The city had announced that all affected dwellings must be inspected and cleared before people could return, so it was going to be at least a week before Dad would be allowed to movebackin.
I would have offered a bedroom, but I wasn’t sure how long I was staying in town.After I saw how bad Dad’s arthritis had gotten, I decided a few days would be a good idea.It didn’t seem like he was taking care of himself the way he should, and his repeated questions about his uniform seemed like more than normalforgetfulness.
Carver, my driver for the time I was in New Orleans, navigated the streets toward the house I’d rented on Lake Pontchartrain.My last-minute travel plans didn’t leave me with many options, but this place worked out well.Tonight, I planned to indulge in a glass or two of bourbon, a bubble bath, and sleep.What I wasn’t looking forward to was the call that was supposed to be coming from my on-again/off-again boyfriend, Carlos.We were overdue to beoffagain.
My phone chimed in my purse and I pulled it out.Heath.
“Everything okay?”Iasked.
“I tracked down Rhett and I’m heading to the bar.You should come.I know you missed him at thefuneral.”
My brother knew about my crush.In fact, he’d gone out of his way to make sureeveryoneknew about my crush.Even now, I wasn’t above putting him on the no-fly list out of spite for the angst he’d caused me as a self-consciousteenager.
I opened my mouth to decline because saying “no” to social activities that required leaving my house was normally one of my favorite things, but something stopped me.One of my other special skills was avoiding reality when I didn’t want to deal with it, and finding the right words to tell Carlos that we were done fell firmly into thatcategory.