Banner
Iwalk into Myrna’s lawyer’s office the next morning, not knowing what to expect.
“Banner Regent to see Gregory Lowenstein,” I tell the receptionist when I walk up to the desk.
“Of course, Ms. Regent. He’s expecting you. Let me tell him you’re here.”
As the young blonde picks up the phone to call to announce my presence, I take a few steps toward the window, staring out at the New York skyline. It’s gray and cloudy, which fits my mood perfectly.
“Ms. Regent?”
I turn, and the receptionist indicates that I should follow her. I trail behind her to a nondescript conference room with a large wooden table matching the paneled walls. It’s also empty.
“Mr.Lowenstein will be right in,” she says. “Just one moment. Can I bring you something to drink?”
“Espresso would be great.”
“Of course.”
Moments after she shuts the door behind her, it swings open again.
“Well, Ms. Regent, somehow you charmed my client. I’d love to know how you did it.” A man of average height wearing glasses, with a shiny spot in the middle of his gray ring of hair, smiles and holds out his hand. “I’m Greg Lowenstein, and I’ve been Ms. Frances’s lawyer for twenty-some years.”
Twenty years of being at Myrna’s beck and call? I’m not sure I could handle it.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I wouldn’t exactly say I charmed her. More like I drove her absolutely insane.”
Lowenstein holds up a hand. “For her, it was kind of the same thing. She was a great old lady, sharp as a tack, but her tongue was too, as I’m sure you well know. I heard everything about everyone because she called once a week to change her will. That vibrator incident almost cost you a chunk of change.”
Oh my God. She told her lawyer about that?Peeking at the conference room table, I wonder if there’s room to crawl under it.
“As much of my time as Myrna took up, I’m sincerely going to miss her. Well, my billable hours are going to miss her, and my secretary is going to have to find a new source of entertainment. So, how about we get started?” He opens a file and starts running through the estate plan and how things work.
I zone out almost immediately at all the legal jargon. Why don’t lawyers just use regular words? Do they get paid more for using the big ones?
I raise a hand like a second grader to stop him.Please, God, stop.
Thankful when he takes a breath to pause, I jump in. “I get it. Myrna’s estate plan was super fancy because you charged her a crap ton of money to work on it and keep changing it. But bottom-line it for me, Greg. What do I really need to know?”
He takes off his glasses and lays them on the table. “Thirty.”
“Thirty what?” I ask, wondering if there’s some legal definition for it that I’m not aware of.
“Thirty million. That’s what you’ve inherited in various investment accounts, not including the apartment or other property. For those, we can only go from market-value estimates—”
I raise my hand again, this time like a really rich second grader.
“Are you shitting me?” I say as I lower my hand.
“No, Ms. Regent, I’m not, in your vernacular, shitting you.”
“Holy fucking shit.”
“Indeed.”
I discreetly slide one hand under my arm and pinch myself.Crap, that hurts. Not dreaming. Okay, then ...
I whip my head around to check for cameramen jumping out to surprise me.