“First off,” she says, raising one finger into the air, “I’m no princess. And if I were, you’d be wrong anyway, because I’m standing right in the middle of BFE.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“Does it matter?”
I grit my teeth. This woman is more frustrating than any I’ve met before, but damned if I don’t like seeing her all riled up. “Sure does, especially if you’re here to apologize for tossing me out of your apartment on my ass—”
She sucks in a breath. “I did not toss you out on your ass. You stormed out and left. Big difference, dude.”
“That doesn’t tell me why you’re here.”
She props a hand on her hip. “It’s not really any of your business. I’m spending some time out of the city and doing a favor for a friend by housesitting.”
I may have only spent one night with Banner, but I’ve gotten to know her through weeks of texting. “What the hell happened?”
Her expression turns mulish. “Why do you think something happened?”
“Hell must have frozen over for you to leave your little universe of an island.”
She cranes her head to the side to look behind me. “I don’t see the devil ice skating behind you anywhere, so I guess you’re wrong. Now, if you’ll excuse me—”
A shrill beeping blares from inside.
“Shit!” Banner spins around and rushes back inside.
The unmistakable smell of smoke hits my nose, and I yank open the screen door. A gray cloud rises off whatever is on the stove as Banner grabs a towel and starts waving it around. She miscalculates her movements and the fringed ends catch fire.
“Fuck.” I round the table that takes up the center of the kitchen and move her out of the way to turn off the burner and grab the towel out of her hand. Crossing the room, I toss it in the sink and put out the flames. I throw open the front windows before turning to face her.
“You trying to burn the whole damn house down?”
Her face pales to sheet white. “No.”
The word comes out shaky, and it takes a shit load of willpower to stop myself from pulling her against my chest and holding her until the fright is forgotten. Instead, I scan the room to make sure nothing else is on fire as the smoke alarm finally quiets. My attention stops on the frying pan and what looks like charred roadkill inside it.
“I was trying to make dinner.” Banner’s tone starts out timid, but each word gains volume and sassy attitude. “Until you showed up and started acting like a jerk and I burned it!”
She’s so damn sexy when she’s pissed. I can’t help but push her a little more. “Honey, I think whatever you were making was doomed long before I showed up.”
Her brows dive into angry slashes. “Why did I ever think I liked you? You’re just as much of a jerk as those assholes in Manhattan.”
I don’t take offense to what I know isn’t true. “At least I’m a jerk that doesn’t burn dinner. What were you trying to make?”
She shakes her head. “Like you care.”
I lean back, resting a hip on the table in the middle of the kitchen, and wait.
“Bacon. I was trying to cook bacon.” She spits out the words, sounding so miserable, I almost feel bad for laughing at her.
“It’s not the last pig on the planet, Bruce. No need to look like you’re never gonna have bacon again.”
“When you haven’t had real bacon in approximately five years, it sure feels like it. That was the only package.”
I look at the lump in the pan. “The whole package in one pan? Damn, Bruce. Did you separate it?”
She shakes her head. “I thought that happened as it thawed and cooked.”
I’m pretty sure my eyebrows damn near hit my hairline. “You put frozen bacon in a chunk in a frying pan?”