My eyes widen, and my mouth opens and closes a couple of times.
"What’s wrong?" There has to be a reason, and while I’m happy to know I’m needed, I thought I’d have a little notice. A couple of days at least.
He runs a hand through his hair. "Remember when Alex called you?" I nod, thinking about that morning. "Well… the mom"—he tips his chin to the very one that’s blown up my email for months—"she didn’t make veiled threats. She talked to a reporter who’s trying to run with a story about gala profits being mishandled."
"What!" I say louder than I should, and several heads turn in our direction.
"Sadie… shh." He faces forward, watching Cooper sink the puck in the net at the final buzzer. We stand and clap, but Levi continues through gritted teeth. "I know it’s all bullshit, but you know these numbers better than anyone. I can’t comb through it all fast enough, and I need this shit squashed before the media grabs hold of it."
My mind races, and a lump forms in my throat. I know there’s nothing to hide, but the idea that someone would question my work, my ethics—it’s infuriating. A string snaps inside of me, and I know I have to go back.
Searching the ice, I spot Max talking to Cooper’s coach. As much as I don’t want it to be this way—it’s time for a short and sweet goodbye.
"I’ll gather my stuff from my mom’s and get on the road." I turn toward Levi. "Should I meet you at the arena?"
His eyes are full of pity as he tips his chin toward Max. "I’m sorry that’s ending this way. But I’m proud of you for living, for taking my advice."
Squeezing his arm, I straighten my spine and bite my cheek so I don’t cry. "Thanks. I’ll call you when I’m close."
Moving out of the bleachers, each step feels harder than the last. Max isn’t expecting this. We had plans to grab stuff to grill at his house. We were going to take Benny to the dog park. As I round the corner, closing in on where I know I’ll find him… I will myself to make it quick. Not just for his sake—but for mine too.
"Hey, great game, huh?" Max says, wrapping me in his arms. "Wait, what’s wrong?"
"Is there somewhere we can talk?" My lips tremble as the question comes out.
"Uh, yeah." Max pulls my arm toward a hallway I hadn’t noticed, not stopping until we’re stepping inside a utility closet. "What’s going on, Sade?"
Breathing deeply, I recount the entire story for him, from the initial conversation with Alex to the emails that have flooded my box and the story now at risk of causing a big ass untruthful mess.
"—and I’m the only one who knows those numbers backward and forward. This is years worth of work, a program I helped build," I finish, pushing my tongue to the roof of my mouth and begging my body not to cry.
Max runs his hands up and down my arms. "What do you need from me? How can I help?"
My lip quivers as I fight the reaction my heart wants to give. "I need to leave." I wrap my arms around him tightly. "Tonight."
Max hugs me back, infusing the embrace with everything we’re both feeling. "Okay." He slides his hand between us, tipping my chin up with his thumb and forefinger. "This month has been the best one of my entire life. I love you, but we both knew this had a deadline." He stares into my eyes, searching my soul. "I would never hold you back from doing what you need to do. If there’s anyone alive who understands chasing something just to have it ripped away—it’s me. Just make me one promise."
This man is so good, he can’t even bring himself to be selfish, or mad, or any of the thousands of other emotions that are raging inside of me. He’s just understanding—supportive even—and the dam inside of me breaks. Tears streak down my face, blurring my vision as my chest heaves.
"What’s the promise?" I choke out.
Max grips my face, one hand on each cheek, as he wipes my tears. "Promise me you won’t lose balance. That you’ll remember you deserve happiness outside of work, and that you need multiple legs on your stool."
He kisses me. It’s chaste and simple, but infused with a thousand things neither of us will voice out loud. It's goodbye.It’s an ‘I love you’. It’s an ‘I’d sacrifice anything for you to reach your dreams’. And I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from it.
"I promise." Stroking a hand down his face, I press a kiss to his cheek. "Give the Titans hell, Max. I’m so proud of you, and thank you… for everything."
With that, I slip past him and beeline through the rink. Heartbroken isn’t a feeling I’m used to, but maybe the work will distract me. Or maybe the bitter cold arena will freeze the cracks inside me, filling them with ice so deep that I’ll be numb forever.
thirty-two
Max
The Last Minute Knock
"Do you really want to take this shitty old mattress?" Sam bellows down the hall from my bedroom.
"It’s the only one I have!" I shout back at him, slumping onto the floor as Benny leaps onto me and licks my cheek.