There was no gruffness or demand in his voice, likely the least stern way he’d ever spoken to them. And yet, the twins seemed enraptured by it, staring at him without the slightest glimpse of fear that so often clouded their faces when he was before them.
“Ye dinnae do anythin’ wrong,” Archer continued. “There was nothin’ that ye could have done, or nothin’ that ye did that would have made Emilie be able to stay. I promise ye that. This is nae somethin’ that ye should blame yourselves for. Do ye hear me?”
Aurora sniffled while Louis swiped a hand over his now ruddy and tear-stained cheeks. Eventually, they nodded.
Hesitantly, Archer reached out and placed a hand on both of their shoulders. Surprisingly, they did not flinch away from his touch.
“Let’s go inside,” he proposed. “We can sit and ye can tell me all about how ye feel. We’ll talk about it. As a family.”
The twins shared a glance, a silent conversation flowing between the two of them.
Archer didn’t move. He didn’t dare hold his breath.
This was the closest to them that he had been since they were born. And now, all of a sudden, he couldn’t quite understand why he’d been so afraid to get close to them.
He wanted them to say yes. He wanted them to go with him into the library and to sit with them.
He wanted to be a father to them, well and truly, for the very first time.
So, when the twins turned back to him and nodded again, something in Archer’s spirit seemed to lift.
He reached forward, grabbing the twins’ hands as they turned and walked toward the library in the castle. Once they were inside, he went to the far corner, the one close to the fireplace, and then he dropped their hands.
Sitting in the chair, Archer prepared himself for them to walk to the settee. He’d imagined them climbing onto it, holding onto each other while they talked about Emilie’s departure.
But what he hadn’t accounted for were the twins stepping toward him, not pausing as they began climbing up into his lap.
Archer straightened, not knowing what to do as the twins situated themselves on his lap.
Aurora and Louis nestled into his chest, one on each leg, and then the sniffles began anew.
“Why did she leave, Faither?” Louis’ voice was small when he spoke, and Archer could hear the sadness leeching into every word.
I did this to them. I gave them a maither for the first time in their young lives, and then I was the one to take that away from them. If I tell them that now, will all of this go away? Will they start lookin’ at me with fear? Or even hatred?
His stomach lurched. For the very first time, he didn’t want them to leave.
Having them there, having his children close to him, it felt like something had been missing for the last six years that finally just clicked into place.
And now that it had, he didn’t think he wanted things to go back to the way they were.
“It’s nay one’s fault,” he murmured, his voice gruff as he tried to speak softly to his children. “Nay one is at fault for Emilie leavin’. I ken it’s hard to believe, but it’s all goin’ to be all right.”
The children tucked into him tighter, and he held them. Archer felt their tiny bodies shaking as he did, and he allowed them to sit there.
He was unsure of how long they cried for. But he held them the entire time.
Slowly, their tears began to slow, and their shaking began to stop. It took a little while longer, and then Archer looked down to realize that both had cried themselves to sleep.
“I’m goin’ to get ye two to bed,” he murmured, gently shifting the children so that he could push himself to standing.
He held a twin on each hip, and then he began to walk.
Archer’s first step would be to tuck them into their beds, allowing the children to sleep off some of their sadness.
And then… then Archer was not entirely sure what he was going to do after that. But as his two children held onto him and slept in his arms for the very first time, Archer knew in his soul that he had to do something.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR