And maybe he would feel better if he could just do something. Be proactive. At least then he’d know if they didn’t have the supplies, that they’d truly done everything they could. It might lessen the guilt.
All of which was a moot point because Gabriel had made it very,veryclear he would not be taking Blake out. He considered him a liability.
Thinking about it made him angry all over again, and he didn’twantto be angry at Gabriel. He wanted to hold him. Kiss him. Tell him he finally finished that bodice ripper Victoria had brought him, and the ending was as ridiculous as Gabriel had guessed. Blake had loved it.
Sitting up, Blake picked at the grass. “What about you and Phin?” The subject change was about as subtle as a car crash, but Tommy was used to the whiplash.
“Nothing to tell,” he said lightly.
“You don’t think he likes you?” Blake asked incredulously.
“I don’t think he likes himself very much.”
Which was true. Blake suspected Phin was so big because he needed the strength to carry around all his baggage. And it was more than just the PTSD. If he were a betting man, Blake would bet he had a deeply repressed childhood. Probably religious. But Blake had never asked. Phin would probably push him into the ground like a thumbtack if he tried.
Blake looked over at Tommy, squinting against the glare of the sun. “So, what are you going to do?”
Tommy’s cheek dimpled. “Like him even harder.”
Blake wasn’t sure where Tommy got the confidence, but he wished he had some to spare. With everything going on, he knew exactly what he wanted and what he was going to do about it.
“Doesn’t it seem pointless? Worrying about all this…relationship stuff when the world has ended?”
Tommy seemed to think about it before getting up and dusting off his pants. “I think we need to worry about it now more than ever. It wasn’t our choice, but this is our life now.”
He extended a hand to help Blake up. “You’ve got to live a little or die a lot.”
It didn’t make sense, but Blake took his hand anyway.
CHAPTER
FOUR
Blake stepped out of Irving’s office and took a deep breath. The cold air hurt, but it was better than the thick blanket of testosterone he’d just been breathing.God,if they’d been in there any longer, they’d have to pull out a ruler for all the dick measuring going on.
These meetings were tedious at best, and pointless at worst. Gabriel’s team brought back some solid information, but it wasn’t enough. Confirming that the Monkey Cats had a short lifespan didn’t really help. They knew they must be replenishing their forcessomehow,but without knowing how or when, it was just pissing in the wind.
Which led to Alvarez making some pointed comments about sitting around on their asses, Gabriel trying not to rise to the bait, but eventually getting goaded into a passive-aggressive yelling match. Light on the passive.
Judd had a bet going around that the next time would lead to a physical fight. Blake didn’t like it when Judd was right.
Rubbing his eyes, he tried not to think about the more immediate pressing concerns. He would laugh at the idea ofaliens attacking the Earthas not pressing, but they were staringdown the barrel of starvation, and no one was quite sure what to do.
Blake had never so much as kept a plant alive, but even if one of them had any idea about gardening, it was impossible to start something when the ground was frozen. And they were hesitant to even begin. Setting up a garden meant permanency. It meant that they planned to stay for the long haul.
And that felt a lot like giving up.
Which left them scavenging, but that was a finite thing. Eventually, they’d pick everything clean. It was a miracle they’d found what they had.
Still, Blake had tried to pay attention. He’d tried to push back the panic bubbling in his chest and focus. It didn’t help that Gabriel had been staring at him the entire time, eyes creased with worry.
So he wasn’t surprised when, a few steps from Irving’s office, Gabriel grabbed his arm. “Can we talk?”
Blake wanted to say no. He wanted to yank his hand free with an excuse that bought him time. But no matter how he felt, Gabriel didn’t deserve that.
They stepped into a small alcove beside a bookcase with pamphlets for local attractions. Blake ran a finger through the dust on a brochure for a local pumpkin patch and wondered if all the pumpkins died or if they somehow flourished, rising up to tangle their vines through their carefully cultivated rows, claiming the field as their own.
I’ve watched too many B horror movies.