“It’s more accurate first thing in the morning.”
“So we have to wait all fucking night?” I nodded as I bit my lip. “It’s going to be a long fucking night.”
We spent the night talking about our options. I let him know I didn’t believe in abortion, but if he wasn’t ready to be a father, I would be okay on my own.
I had an entire town back home that would give me all the support I needed. Not to mention my parents. Neither of them would bat an eye at their daughter having a baby without being married. They’d never got married either.
I dozed off in Jude’s arms as the sun was rising. Nothing had been settled. Neither of us were willing to voice our truth until we knew for sure.
But I knew.
I’d known the moment I realized what day it was. Something inside me cracked open. Fear and apprehension were the first emotions. But then something bigger settled over me.
Something maternal.
I’d always wanted children; I just thought like every other girl, I would be married first. But I wasn’t the first woman to find herself pregnant and single, and I wouldn’t be the last.
I’d learned to roll with the punches. To live the life I wanted, not the one that was given to me.
I woke up to Jude watching me.
“Have you slept at all?”
He shook his head. “No. Too much shit in my head.”
“Well, let’s find out if that shit is warranted,” I said, climbing out of the bed and grabbing the bag on the nightstand. Jude followed me into the bathroom, and I stared at him. “What are you doing?”
“I want to be here when you find out.”
“And you can. But you willnotbe here while I take the test.”
I pushed him from the room and locked the door. When I was done, I set the test on the counter and washed my hands. I placed my hand on the lock, but before I let him in, I whispered, “You can do this, Morgan.”
Jude came in and sat on the edge of the tub, pulling me down onto his lap. He held me tightly in his arms as if he were afraid I’d run. I had nowhere to run. If I were pregnant, anywhere I ran, the baby would follow.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him against me. If he only knew we feared the same thing.
When the timer on my phone went off, we both stood. We stared at the stick, and right then I knew this was a day I would never forget.
“Morgan?” Dev said. “Are you okay? Your face is pale.”
I stared at my best friend. “What is today?”
“Wednesday,” she answered.
“No, the date. What is the date?” I asked frantically, panic rising in my chest, but at the same time pressing down and making it hard to breathe.
“Um, the 15thI think.”
My hand flew to my mouth. “Oh God. No. This can’t be happening,” I cried.
I quickly handed the baby to Devlyn and rushed up the stairs. A few minutes later she was walking into the bathroom as I dug through the cabinets.
“Morgan, what’s going on?”
I stared up at her from my place on the floor as I dug under the sink. “Please tell me you have a test.”
“A test for what?” she asked, then her mouth fell open. “Oh, a test.” Her eyes widened and she fell to her knees beside me. “You need a test?”