Elliot Smith knots me with the most masculine whimper I’ve ever heard and I fall apart, gushing around his cock with a loud cry.
He leans forward, resting his head on my back as we both breathe. He pulls my top back over my breasts and holds me, thankfully, cause I’m pretty sure I was about to keel over.
Slowly he walks us backwards, delicately moving our bodies so he can sit on the lounge chair. He takes care to readjust my dress and I sit on his lap where we’re knotted.
There’s no escaping the impulsive moment, and we’re both quiet for a short period, his hands holding my thighs as we look out at the crystalline water.
I begged him to knot me after he said all the right things and declared he was in love with me, but as we sit there my anxiety starts to swallow me whole.
What if we did this and he changes his mind? What if I’ve finally had him the way I’ve wanted him for as long as I remember and he can’t deal with pack life? What if I pushed him into this and he resents me for it?
“It’s okay, Claire,” Elliot says, running his hands down my arms, trying to be soothing, but his touch is just making me panic even more.
I’ve wanted him to touch me for so long, to choose me, and now I know why he’s stayed away and it’s a valid reason. It has nothing to do with his attraction or feelings toward me; it has everything to do with how he fundamentally wants to live his life.
The moment he said he wanted me, it’s like I lost all rational thought. I wanted him to smell like me; I wanted to prove that this was real.
But what if in choosing me, I change him? What if he regrets this choice later on?
“Baby, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere,” he says again, this time wrapping his arms tightly around me and lightly squeezing.
The pressure of his embrace slowly neutralizes my nervous system. I think about Wells and Forrest, which has some guilt simmering up my throat.
Wells seems to understand my feelings for Elliot, and Forrest said he was willing to do whatever it takes, but I don’t think either of them thought I was going to take Elliot to my room and beg for his knot.
I didn’t plan it, fuck, I wasn’t thinking. It was like every single Omega instinct was driving me a few minutes ago, and now I’m here trying to manage the fallout.
“I’m here, Claire,” Elliot assures me. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll figure this out.”
“I don’t know if we should have done that so soon,” I reply, and his chest rumbles behind me.
“It was long overdue, and this ship is making everyone fucking feral. I loved being inside you. I’ll never be the same again,” he says, kissing my shoulder.
“I’m actually kind of annoyed that we could have been doing that for a lot longer if you weren’t so stubborn,” I say, grabbing his hand and toying with his knuckles. “Your timing for admitting that I’m perfect and you’re in love with me is later than it should have been.”
I can feel him smile against my shoulder, his warm skin pressed against mine.
“Better late than never,” he says, pressing another kiss to my skin, inhaling deeply. He sighs, scent marking me. “I’m really going to try, Claire, with everything I have. I’ll learn how to be in a pack for you. I won’t try to run from this ever again.”
I swallow thickly, shifting my weight, and he moans as I adjust myself on his knot.
When he releases us and a ridiculous amount of slick and cum spills out of me, I turn around on his lap and look at his face.
I lick my lips, dirty thoughts spiraling back into my head, and my brows furrow. God, my heat is probably closer than I thought it was. The part of me that wants to get knotted by this man again and then the other part of me that’s trying to be logical about the current situation we’re in are completely at odds with themselves.
“Let’s get cleaned up so you can formally introduce me to Forrest and Wells so we can figure out where to go from here,” he says, being logical for the both of us and I’m grateful as I nod.
Elliot cups both sides of my face and kisses me gently, stealing both of our breath away. He rests his forehead against mine and sighs.
“I’m sorry it took me this long, that I hurt you, Claire. For the rest of my life I’m going to make sure all you feel from me is how badly I want you, how badly I’ve always wanted you. I can’t say it’s going to be an easy adjustment, but I do promise you that I’m not going anywhere. I’m right where I want to be,” he says.
I want to believe him, and take him at his word.
“I want lots of apology presents and sexual favors,” I tell him and he smiles.
“That I can do. Now go get cleaned up before I change my mind and hoard you all to myself in here.” As he says it, I can tell the idea of hanging out with Wells and Forrest isn’t what he wants to do, but he’s willing to do it for me.
I want him a part of this pack, something I didn’t think I could have. If we want to make this work, it seems that I’ll need to teach these Alphas that caring is sharing.