There were so many times I sat in self-hatred when I saw her with someone else, but this was more, and I’m not sure how the fuck to deal with it.
I have a few options; leave this obsession behind me, let Claire have everything she wants and realize that I’m not part of the equation, or potentially compromise how I saw my future so that I can be with the woman I’ve secretly yearned for over the past two years.
A growl vibrates in my chest when I consider sharing Claire with the massive Alpha who had her pinned against the wall.
The only thing I’m completely certain about is I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and I’m not leaving this ship until I make a decision and until I know Claire is safe.
There were so many men in New York who used Claire for either her designation, her name, or her wealth. Even if I couldn’t have her, if we were never destined to be together that way, I’d always make sure she was okay.
It was that thought that helped me eventually fall to sleep.
I don’t meet Claire for breakfast, but I watch her eat breakfast with that Alpha and a Beta. I take photos, find their identities, and I can’t decide if the fact they are squeaky clean, upstanding citizens pisses me off or gives me some sort of relief.
Based on their finances, they don’t need money; I mean, they don’t compare to Claire’s wealth, but it wouldn’t be a determining factor.
The two men dote on her, laugh with her, and are gentle with her. The Beta, Wells, constantly has her laughing. They chat animatedly at the table, but I can’t hear their conversation from this distance. The Alpha is calmer than when I met him last night, his stance protective and watchful.
I’m at an impasse, because I know this is what she deserves, but I’m also pissed that it isn’t me making her laugh, it isn’t me openly watching her in that way.
I’m not oblivious; I know that Claire feels something for me, but I’ll never let it go anywhere besides making it appear like a one-sided crush. The worst thing I could have done was to give into her advances, really let ourselves fall to only come to the imminent conclusion that our lives were different.
My phone chimes, a message from my sister. It had to be sometime in the afternoon in New Zealand, her and Axel are the only ones who know what I’m doing. Sophie and Claire are friends, though not as close as they were as kids with my sister’s demanding career. She’s hardly ever in New York anymore.
Soph
So?
So what?
Soph
Did you confess your undying love? The epic friends who both thought they were unrequited lovers who finally both admit how they feel for one another and run off into the sunset?
She’s already started a fucking pack on board.
Soph
Full on mate bites and everything? I knew Claire was powerful, but fuck.
No. No bites.
Soph
Even if she had a pack, had bite marks on her, you know that being together is still an option?
I don’t answer for a long time, deleting each message that I consider sending.
Soph
You have so many friends, co-workers, and extended family that you’re close to, Elliot. Would having a pack be so different?
Yeah, they’d be fucking my girl.
Soph
Ugh. Grow up, Elliot. Just because our parents didn’t have a pack doesn’t mean that it’s the only way to live life. Either find a Beta who’s happy with monogamy or grow a pair, because Mom was a rare case. Most Omegas need packs. Claire is a pack Omega. Nut up or leave her alone so you can both be happy.
I read her message a few times, knowing that she’s right in multiple regards. I don’t reply and I leave the buffet hall and continue to watch Claire and the pack that’s courting her throughout the day.