My pervy brain is alight with images of Linnea getting it on with a girl. “Any conclusions you’d like to share with the group?”
Bear gives me a side-eye.
Linnea’s lips twitch. “It was…interesting. Aside from feeling safe, it didn’t really do it for me.”
Yet I’mthis closeto fisting my cock just for an ounce of relief because the images firing through my brain are definitelydoing it for me. “Feeling safe is good,” I say then realize I’m being way too loud, and probably way too obvious.
Linnea looks to Bear, then me, a question in her eyes. “It’s not a big deal, right?”
“Of course not,” I say. “Experimenting is healthy.” And yeah, sexy as fuck.
“I kissed my brother’s best friend in fourth grade,” Bear blurts.
I arch my eyebrows. “What went wrong? Too much tongue? Not enough?”
He splashes water in my direction, then nods at Linnea. “It’s kinda like you said. I didn’t feel anything. I thought I would. I had built it up, you know? Like maybe I liked guys, and I was pretty ramped up about it. But kissing him felt like nothing. And then he punched me.”
“Not cool,” I say.
“We laugh about it now.” He eyes me, then Maryanne. “Anything to add, you two?”
Maryanne shakes her head. “I’m so straight you could use me as a ruler.”
“No interest at all?” Bear asks.
“Nope.”
“Damn. Not even the two of you?” He points to Linnea and Maryanne, who start giggling. “CJ and I could watch?”
“Only if you two reciprocate.” Maryanne wiggles her eyebrows while Linnea laughs.
Bear and I turn to each other, then burst out laughing. “Nope.”
“Your turn,” Bear says to me.
“It’s never even crossed my mind.” I watch Linnea’s face as I add, “When I dream about kissing, it’s always with a woman.”
Linnea’s eyes tense with so much longing, it tugs the knots in my chest a little tighter. How could I have only just met this girl? I already want so much from her.
Maryanne catches Bear’s eye. “Is the sauna ready yet?”
“Should be.” He glances at me, then Linnea. “You guys in?”
Linnea shakes her head. “I’m not a sauna gal. Too hot.”
“Same here.” And they don’t really want our company anyway.
For Bear and Maryanne to access the ladder, Linnea moves to stand in the center of the tub, which reveals the swell of her breasts, the full curve of her shoulders, and the top of her biceps. I have to shift places too, the hot water swirling around me. The steam is so thick and the night so dark that Bear and Maryanne vanish to the sound of their footsteps and thethunkof the sauna door closing.
Leaving Linnea and me standing inches apart in the middle of the tub.
Chapter Twenty-One
The water clingingto CJ’s chest and shoulders sparkles like silver beads in the steamy darkness and his eyes are tense with desire. With longing.
Forme. The quirky shy girl with her heart constantly on fire and her courage so often misplaced. The girl who would go to battle to save something sacred but who can’t seem to save herself.
Is this another example of my misaligned trust? Or is this really happening to me?