I sip my root beer. “Community is important. Having a person who gets you can truly save your life.”
Her eyes meet mine. “Who is your person?”
“My sponsor Dane is one. Bear and my therapist are two more.”
“You have a therapist?”
I laugh. “Yep. Detox and a few months of rehab can only take you so far. I knew I needed to make some big changes to stay sober, and I couldn’t do them without someone skilled in my corner.”
She nods, her expression even more thoughtful now. “Was it hard to move here?” She takes another bite, then licks up a strand of melted cheese. Seeing her little tongue in action makes my dick twitch.
I shift in my bucket seat. “Uh, define hard.”
“You have to find a whole new community. I can see that being, well…” She licks her lips, her eyes thoughtful. “Lonely? And challenging.”
“One of the best things about AA is how easy they make it. You can visit any city and find a meeting happening, and you’re instantly welcomed.” My promise to attend tomorrow’s meeting at the Methodist church flickers in the back of my mind, but I stuff it back.That’s tomorrow’s problem. I fold my piece in half and take a huge bite. Too bad we only got two pizzas because this one’s going to be gone soon.
“Is that why you moved home?” I ask her. “Because you missed your family and friends?”
She finishes chewing, her gaze shifting to the side, like she’s thinking how to answer. “I thought taking the job with Idaho Fish and Wildlife was a good step. It being located in Finn River was definitely a bonus.”
Finally, we’re back to where we left off on Monday morning. “What do you mean by a good step?” I scoop up another piece of pizza.
She sips from her root beer. “I can’t stay in the field forever.”
“Why not?”
Her lips twitch and her eyes turn thoughtful. “Because fieldwork doesn’t feel important enough.”
“Says who?”
She sets her root beer back in the console. “Don’t get me wrong. I love the work, being outside, the research and feeling useful, and...” She cringes. “…the solitude too.”
“There’s nothing wrong with liking any of those things.”
She reaches for a new piece of pizza and plucks a chunk of green pepper from the top. “Being a field grunt doesn’t drive change. Not really. For a time, it was what I needed. It helped me get over a breakup and kind of find myself again.” She squeezes the chunk of green pepper between her front teeth, then chews it. “My sister is a shrink. And my dad was really worried. Has that ever happened to you? Like you love your family and you know they mean well but you just need to stand on your own?”
“Absolutely.”
She heaves a sigh and plucks an olive, then chews it slowly. “I needed their help at first, but then I couldn’t take their hovering.”
“Sounds like you created some healthy boundaries for yourself.”
She leans back and laughs. “Ohmigawwwd,” she groans. “You sound like Sofie.”
My chest pinches. “Sounds like she cares.” Not everyone has that.
Linnea nibbles on the corner of her piece. “She does. And I love her for it. My dad too. I thought after the breakup that he’d be upset with me. I was…afraid he’d see me differently. Think less of me because I let it happen.”
“First, that’s not being a supportive parent, and your dad might be grumpy, but I can’t see him judging his daughter. And second…” I wait until her gaze lifts to mine again. “…will you tell me why this ex of yours made you feel this way?”
She gives a quick shrug, but her shoulders look stiff, like I’ve made her uncomfortable. Shit. I should have eased into that one better.
“Nathan was…controlling. And just…wasn’t good for me.”
I’m certain there’s more, but this vague reply is telling me to tread lightly. “I’m sorry.”
“If you’re not falling, you’re not learning, right?” Her sudden cheerful tone takes me by surprise.