“I want you to think of it as your home too, wifey-poo.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he says that, using the nickname we jokingly gave each other for the cameras while we were filming the documentary. “Just like the loft.”
“I found the papers,” I say and squeeze my eyes shut, bracing myself for his reaction. Do I want Nash to be upset I found them or relieved? “I wasn’t snooping. Liv needed the colander for the pasta salad and there they were. Weird hiding place, by the way. Anyway, I found them.”
“Oh. Okay.” His voice sounds thick and dull. “Did you sign them?”
“No. But I will,” I say and my voice decides to tremble for some stupid reason. “I’m assuming you were waiting for the right moment, but I don’t know if there is a right moment to end a fake marriage with real feelings.”
He sighs. “Up.”
I get to my feet and give him room to stand. He walks into the house after he mumbles, "Stay here."
When he returns he’s not holding the beer bottle he was sipping. He’s holding the papers and his face is guarded and kind of angry-looking. The kind of expression I haven’t seen directed at me in a long time. Weird how it can look foreign when it used to be the only way Nash looked at me. He holds up the papers. “Charlie sent them when we were still in Maine. I just needed a minute to sort out what to say to you.”
I bite my lip and then try to smile when I let it go. I’m thankful for the dim light which comes only from the flames of the fire and the solar lanterns on the deck of the house a few feet away because I know the smile is weak. “I’m a big girl, Nash. You don’t have to protect my feelings. We’re in love and the paperwork means nothing, right? We didn’t even mean it. So we should just sign it and go on dating, like normal people.”
He chuckles at that, which isn’t the reaction I was expecting. I think I was expecting a sigh of relief or a smile of awe at how very stupidly boringly grown up I’m being about this. "Don't go and start being some kind of logical, pragmatic bore on me now, Garrison. That's my personality, not yours."
I laugh despite the serious feeling in my heart. He holds out the papers but not toward me. He holds them over the fire. My eyes bulge out of my head. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t drop these into the fire?”
“Because…” Weird how I suddenly can’t form a sentence.
His eyes lock on mine and he grins slyly. “Tenley Garrison is finally speechless.”
“Shut up. I am not!” I bark out and huff. “Because I never wanted to get married. And neither did you. Not now.”
His smile fades. “So you don’t want to stay married?”
“No I… What I want doesn’t matter.”
“It’s all that matters,” he counters, the amber in his hazel eyes dancing with the light of the flames. “You are all that has mattered to me for a very long time, Ten. Because I love you. And you’re right I didn’t think being married right now would work out for my life, but you… being married to you is perfection.”
My eyes feel hot and wet and I blink away the tears trying to form. “So you want to stay married to me?”
“I do.”
“I…” One tear slips down my cheek and I ignore it. “I do too. But…”
“But we both want to remember doing it?” he suggests. I laugh and nod. He laughs too. “So…”
The papers drop into the fire, one by one fluttering from his big hand. I laugh. It’s loud and sounds slightly unhinged, I’m sure. “You’re insane.”
"Yeah. Totally out of character, I know." Nash steps closer and then he drops to one knee on the grass and I feel my heart grow wings in my chest. "Tenley Jennifer Garrison, you complete and utter wild card, will you marry me, again? Properly in front of our families?"
“Yes. I will marry you, my perfect robot husband.”
“Fuck off,” he barks and gets to his feet and wraps me in a hug, lifting me off my feet as his lips crash down on mine.
August – Nash
She looks absolutely incredible. I expect nothing less, of course. Tenley had less than three weeks to buy a dress and plan this out. Her mom knew it was coming so she had a lot already mapped out. Jordan had told her I’d asked for his permission.
I always scoffed at men who tear up at their weddings because I never understood the windfall of emotions that overtake you. But here I am, my vision blurring as she and Jordan appear on the deck, stepping out from my house. Her dress is bohemian and flowy with lace and shorter than most wedding dresses. Her blonde hair is loose and tousled with her natural curls she usually hides. Jordan's in a beige linen summer suit. The pride and love radiate from his expression and her aunts and her mom sniffles from the front row.
Crew leans in. “Proud of you, finally giving in and leading with your heart.”
“You may have been on to something.”
“I’m the smarter twin, but you’re catching up.”