Chapter 18
Mac
Ifeel a burst of panic when I look up from my phone and see Dr. Fleury watching from the doorway. I quickly shove it into the pocket of my lab coat and sit straighter in the soft round chair in front of her desk. She walks in, closing the door behind her, and makes her way to the desk. She’s got her trusty tablet with her and her reading glasses low on her narrow nose.
She sits down and props the tablet up on an empty coffee cup on her desk. It's a Christmas-themed one that has a gingerbread house molded into the ceramic and a gingerbread man as a handle. She has also changed the decorative pillows on the small loveseat by the window to ones with embroidered pine trees on them. She does that, theme decorates every season. It's her quirk. Dr. Fleury is a very no-nonsense person in just about every other way except decor.
“Has he been picked up yet?” she asks as she positions herself in her chair.
“Not yet, but the internet is buzzing with rumors of interested…” I stop talking. How does she know I was looking up Conner?
Madeline smiles. “So, for once, the hospital rumor mill is right. You’re dating Conner Garrison?”
“You heard that? My god this place is horrible.” I can feel my cheeks heating and I can’t look her in her big brown eyes.
“I’m a born and raised Silver Bay girl, Mac,” Madeline reminds me. “The Garrisons are our royal family. We’ve been waiting for our Prince to find his Kate Middleton.”
“I’m more of a Meghan Markle,” I reply and then shake my head. “Actually, I take that back. I’m more of a nothing. I am not dating Conner. We’re friends.”
“Oh.” Madeline blinks and her expression says she thinks I’m lying, to myself or to her, I’m not sure. And maybe I am, so I avert my eyes again. She drops the subject and taps her tablet. “Okay let’s go through your cases.”
We spend the next forty minutes talking about the patients I’ve been consulting on. When we’re done with work we start the part of the mentorship that involves my mental health. Madeline, who is probably in her late fifties, but looks about ten years younger, pulls off her reading glasses and leans back in her leather desk chair. “You’ve been working more shifts than necessary again.”
"Not again, still," I admit sheepishly. She's warned me before, sternly, about burnout. "I wanted people to be able to spend the holidays with their loved ones. I, no matter what Silver Bay General whispers, don't have any loved ones in town so I pulled a few doubles. It should settle down now."
Madeline nods slowly and her brown eyes bore into me as she assesses everything about me from my demeanor to my body language to the way I still can’t hold her gaze. “So, you’re nearing the end of your residency here. Have you given more thought to your next steps?”
"I wish I could stay a month in Hawaii and then maybe summer in the Hamptons before I decide what top-notch,already-established private practice I'll be joining," I quip and Madeline smiles at me. "But sadly, I am still deciding if I should go work with my mom at her charity or start my own practice in New York or… elsewhere."
She tents her fingers in front of her and nods. “The elsewhere part still Portland?”
I nod. "Yeah. I really like Maine… despite everything."
Madeline laughs. “Oh you mean Dr. Echolls?
I give her a small nod. I don’t know why I’m embarrassed. Madeline was the first person I told when Beckett cheated on me. I didn’t even tell Tenley, not the details, I just asked her if I could move into the empty apartment. Madeline knows every single gory detail and worse, she knows how it made me feel.
“Maine has a very under-served homeless community so I could definitely be of value,” I say. “I’ve been to Portland a lot and I like it. It’s got New York’s charm without the same population and… hustle.”
“Well, I didn’t want to have to sell you on it, and thankfully it looks like I won’t need to,” Madeline says, smiling as she leans forward and digs around on her desk for a thumb drive. She hands it to me and I take it and wait for more information. “I have a friend. Colleague. We went to school together. His name is Norman Bradley and he is opening a place in Portland based on the model of your mother’s charity. It will have youth services, but be open to all homeless trying to get back on their feet, especially those with addiction issues looking for help.”
“What? Seriously?” I can’t help but let my mouth fall open because this feels too good to be true. “He’s credible? Legit?”
"Very much so." Madeline nods firmly and her smile gets softer. "I know your history. I know why you have a need to stand on your own two feet, but everyone needs help finding their first job. Norman is like you, from the system, so he understands it on the same level as you and your mom and dad. He'slooking for a couple psychiatrists to add to his team. That thumb drive has the presentation he gave me when he was trying to woo me to work for him. I am very happy staying here in Silver Bay but I told him about you and we both agree you'd be a perfect fit. It's got a step-by-step plan for how the charity will run. They've already bought the building and gotten grants from the state. A month or two after you graduate is when the place is projected to be up and running. Gives you time for that Hawaiian vacation.”
I laugh and press the thumb drive between my fingers, half expecting it to evaporate because, well, it’s too good to be true. My history has me drowning in pessimism on any given day. I work diligently to avoid it, but when I get shocked or surprised it’s my default factory setting. Madeline knows this too. She’s the one who advised me on the tips and tricks and mantras and brain training I use to avoid being a negative Nelly. “Check out the presentation. If you’re interested, give him a call. His number is in there. Also, consult your parents. He has had meetings with your mom when he was in the developmental phase so she knows him.”
"Okay. Yeah. I'll do all of that." I nod stand up and walk to the door.
“Mac?” Madeline calls and I glance over my shoulder at her as I reach for the door. “If you go on that Hawaiian vacation with Conner Garrison, can you get him to sign something for my son? He’s a huge fan.”
“Oh my God!” I laugh and Madeline joins in.
“His name is Dudley,” she calls as I leave her office. “Thought I’d just throw it out there!”
I’m still laughing and shaking my head as I head back to the psychiatric ward, the thumb drive next to my phone in the pocket of my lab coat. Once I’m off the elevator and havechecked with the nurses on the status of my patients, I head to my office and call my mom.
“Hey baby!” she says as she picks up. “I’m in a meeting with your auntie Len. Say hi.”