‘Not at all.’
She looked out of the window into the neat garden, which was bathed in morning sunlight.
‘You really hurt me, Ellie. I hadn’t done anything to deserve the ghosting.’
I wanted so badly to grab hold of her hand but was terrified she’d snatch it away, which would undo me.
‘There was no fault on your part. Or on Jackson’s. You both tried, I know you did.’ That much at least I could remember, even though I wished the lightning had robbed me of that too. ‘I think I just got so overwhelmed with the fear of failing that I gave everything I had to the business. It became my baby.’
She flinched at that.
‘So, you chose to win at being an estate agent and fail at being a friend?’
I got to my feet, not sure how much longer I could hold back the tears.
‘Maybe it’s just too soon for this,’ I said, turning away from the table and pushing my chair back in.
‘Maybe it’s just too late,’ she countered, and that would have felled me to my knees if it hadn’t been for the crack I heard in her voice.
I was almost at the door before she stopped me. ‘You might as well stay and finish your coffee. I hate seeing anything good go to waste.’
I turned around slowly, hoping I wasn’t imagining the potential double meaning in her words. Did she mean us? Our friendship? She kicked my chair away from the table with her foot. It was all the encouragement I needed and I dropped back gratefully onto it.
I picked up my coffee cup and was mid-sip when my friend sighed.
‘Jackson warned me you’d probably do something like this.’
I wondered what she meant. Turn up and grovel? Beg for forgiveness? Or ask for her help? Because I couldn’t imagine her anticipating the last, but it was the ace up my sleeve, and I was desperate enough to play it.
‘I’m going to keep apologising as many times as you need to hear it,’ I assured her.
She shook her head. ‘I’m going to be honest, Ellie. I still don’t know if that’ll be enough to mend this.’
She was putting me through the wringer. And I deserved every last excruciating minute of it.
‘I understand. But apologising and making amends isn’t the only reason I’m here today.’
She immediately sat up straighter in her seat. ‘What did Jackson say to you?’
I’d inadvertently walked straight into a minefield. One wrong step and I could blow up our friendship even more cataclysmically than I’d already done.
‘Nothing. He said nothing. Except that I should give you some space and that you’d been through a bit of a rough time.’
I was used to seeing those eyes laughing at me, not narrowing in suspicion like they were doing right now.
‘I caved before it got to four weeks,’ I said, biting my lower lip, which was starting to tremble. ‘That felt like long enough.’
‘You always did have appalling willpower.’
I risked just the tiniest smile, because it was the first time she had referenced the way she knew me better than anyone else did.
‘And although it’s not the main reason I’m here today – far from it – I do have a favour to ask of you.’
‘Ballsy,’ she said with a shake of her head. ‘Asking me for something when I’m still spitting feathers.’
I let my eyes stray to the buff-coloured folder that I’d set down on her kitchen table.
‘The favour isn’t for me. It’s for a really worthy cause. And I want to get involved but I need help, and even though I know you’re still mad at me, you’re the best person – the only person – I know who can guide me on what I should do next.’