Jackson’s eyebrows rose and disappeared into his new shaggier hairstyle. ‘That’s it? No blow-by-blow account of your latest big sale? No update on the number of Instagram followers you now have, or TikTok engagement?’
His words stung like lemon juice in a cut.
‘Was I really that self-absorbed?’
He gave a very Jackson shrug. ‘You were very... focused,’ he said, softening the comment by adding: ‘You wanted to make it a success, and kudos to you, you did. I bet your mum’s proud.’
The tears were unexpected, and I furiously blinked them away.
‘Yeah, she probably is. I think sometimes when you focus so hard on one thing, it stops you seeing whatever else is going on around you.’
‘So, how’s your vision these days?’ Jackson asked, giving me a look.
‘It’s getting sharper.’
‘Good to hear,’ he said, lifting the second plate with a flourish and waving it towards me.
I shook my head. ‘No thanks. I bought both of them for you.’
He took a large mouthful of the second pie before asking, ‘Is the IT system I set up for you still working, or have you found yourself a new computer nerd to fix it when it goes down?’
‘I could never find a nerd to replace you,’ I said, tentatively dipping my toe back into the ebb and flow of our banter. It felt like putting on a comfortable pair of slippers. ‘You’re the best geek around.’
‘Damn straight,’ he said with a wink, running his left hand ostentatiously through his hair.
‘I like the new look, by the way,’ I said, touching my own chin. Jackson mirrored the movement, deliberately stroking the short facial hair as though petting a small animal.
The penny took a long time to drop, and when it did my cry of surprise had heads turning our way from nearby tables.
‘Jackson Winter, what is that?’
My friend’s face split into an enormous grin.
‘Thank fuck for that. I thought you were never going to notice. Could I have been any more obvious?’
My smile almost matched his as I snatched up his left hand and drew it across the table towards me. I touched the band of gold on his ring finger as though it might be a mirage, but it certainly felt solid beneath my fingertips.
‘You’re married. You got married. You’re a husband,’ I said, my head shaking in wonder. ‘Who is he? Do I know him?’
Jackson looked momentarily disappointed in me. ‘Of course you know him.’
For one dreadful moment my memory was a blank. I could remember a succession of short-lived partners, but no one serious in my friend’s life. And then, as though nature had taken pity on me, it threw me a lifeline, parting the fog in my brain.
‘It’s Lars, isn’t it?’
If Jackson’s grin got any bigger, someone was going to have to call the Guinness Book of Records.
The tall, handsome Dutchman who was now, incredibly and amazingly, married to one of my best friends, floated back into my memory banks. See, said a small reassuring voice inside my head. The memories aren’t lost, after all. They can still be retrieved.
‘But didn’t the two of you only meet last October? That’s so quick.’
Jackson gave the kind of smile that only someone in love can summon.
‘When you know, you know.’
‘I’m so happy for you.’ I scrambled out of my chair and round the table to give him another hug. ‘Congratulations to you – to both of you.’ I gave the shoulder I was hugging a small shove. ‘But I wish you’d invited me to the wedding. Even if I have been the world’s shittiest friend.’
‘Actually, no one came to the wedding,’ he reassured me as I retook my seat. ‘Well, apart from Elvis, that is.’