‘I’m fine,’ I said, so close to tears that there could be little doubt that I was lying.
‘Do you love this man, Ellie? Do you really and truly love him the way I did Bee and the way I believe she loved me?’
‘I do,’ I said, as though it was the vow I’d never get to utter before family and friends.
Henry took my hands in his. They looked so alike. And perhaps that wasn’t the only similarity in our lives.
‘Then don’t make the same mistakes I did, Ellie. Don’t tell yourself walking away from the person you’re meant to be with is ever the right decision.’ He lifted one hand and gently stroked my cheek. ‘Because there’s so much you risk losing by making the wrong choice.’
It was hard to speak past the lump in my throat.
‘But there are so many reasons to stay here—’
Henry shook his head, never allowing me to finish. ‘The people who care about you want only your happiness. Nothing else is important to us. We’ll find ways to be together as often as we can.’ He gave a gentle smile. ‘In fact, I’ve always wanted to see more of the world. And Australia seems like a very good place to start my travels.’
I gave a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob.
‘If Bee was here,’ he began, holding up a hand when it looked like I was going to interrupt him. ‘Not your Elizabeth, but my Bee,I have no doubt what she’d tell you to do. She’d tell you – no, she’d insist – that you listen to your heart and take a chance on happiness.’ His eyes went to the box of albums.
‘I truly believe she somehow found a way to make sure you discovered this box today. She wanted you to know that beneath her tough exterior, some part of her always believed that one day I’d come back to her.’ A single tear rolled down his cheek. ‘And I did. I was just too late.’
‘Oh, Dad.’
It was the first time I’d ever called him that, and the joy it brought to his eyes was something I would treasure forever.
Henry’s hand covered mine warmly. ‘I think today might be a very good time for you to be a little less like me, a little less like Elizabeth, and a whole lot more like Bee.’
Chapter Forty-Five
‘Are you sure you won’t wait until it eases off?’ asked Henry, peering out beneath the covered porch of his building and shaking his head worriedly at the rain.
‘I’ll be fine,’ I assured him, leaning in to give him a quick hug. That was a new development for us, and one I really liked. Was I ready to give it up so soon after finally finding it? ‘I want to get home before the storm rolls in.’
Henry nodded, but the concern clouding his eyes mirrored the thunderheads gathering ominously overhead.
‘And then what?’
It was an excellent question and one to which I had no answer.
‘I don’t know.’ It was an odd response for a woman who’d always prided herself on knowing exactly which direction her life was heading. I felt weirdly untethered and couldn’t decide if that was liberating or just plain terrifying. Perhaps both.
‘Just trust yourself,’ he said wisely. ‘Whatever decision you make... it will be the right one.’
The roads had grown considerably more treacherous during my time at Henry’s. I needed all my concentration just to keep the car travelling in a straight line as the tyres fought for purchase onthe rain-slick tarmac and the wipers struggled to clear the windscreen. The twenty-minute drive took twice as long as it should, eating up precious minutes that I couldn’t afford to squander.
I sprinted from the car to my front door fast enough to get a stitch that javelined into my side as I raced up the three flights of stairs to my flat.
I peeled off my wet clothes as I strode to the bedroom, trying hard not to let it remind me of all the times Rhys’s clothes had lain scattered beside mine on a trail to my bed. Was this a snapshot image of my future? Was I destined to be forever haunted by memories of him and all the what-might-have-beens?
I pulled dry jeans and a jumper on but instead of sliding the dresser drawer to a close, I delved into the back, my fingers grappling until they found my passport. I slipped it into my pocket.
What on earth are you doing? I looked up at my reflection in the oak-framed mirror and came face to face with Old Ellie staring back at me as though I’d lost my mind.
Please tell me you aren’t contemplating some crazy dash through the airport like in a sappy romcom.
I stared unblinking at my reflection.
For God’s sake, at least phone him first and tell him you want to see him.