‘Me too,’ I said, unable to tear my eyes away from the two figures in the picture. They were a good likeness and when I looked at them, I didn’t see Amelia and Sam, I saw only Nick and me.
‘It really is perfect,’ I breathed, ‘although it’s not quite accurate…’ My voice trailed away as I looked more closely at the picture. There were several discrepancies now that I studied it better. First, there was no sign of the beach or the sea in the sketch, for the artist had drawn us against a forest backdrop. And there were other differences. The illustrated figures were accurately posed, but the artist had swapped out the skimpy bikini I’d been wearing that day for a far less revealing robe, and Nick’s board shorts had been replaced by a dark T-shirt and jeans, much like the outfit he was wearing this morning.
I looked down at the towelling robe I’d put on after my shower and almost dropped the framed drawing as I finally realised what I was holding. This sketch wasn’t capturing a memory that had happened nine months ago… it was happening right now, right this minute. I slowly turned around, my eyes filling with tears when I saw two Nicks: one in the frame in my hands and the other right there in front of me. Both were down on one knee, holding out a ring box. Against the forest backdrop beyond the lounge window, Nick reached for my left hand and flipped open the velvet box to reveal a beautiful pear-cut diamond ring.
‘I didn’t realise you could live your whole life never knowing something was missing until the day you unexpectedly find it. And when you do, everything falls into place and you know you’re exactly where you were always meant to be, with the person you’re meant to share your life with. I love you, Lexi, and always will whatever your answer is, but I really hope it’ll be a yes. Will you marry me?’
‘Yes,’ I said, my voice caught between laughter and tears. Nick’s eyes were locked on mine as he slipped the ring on to my finger. It slid in place as though it had always been there.
*
Most of the things on my Christmas ‘to-do’ list didn’t get done after all. It was hard to concentrate on anything when I kept stopping every few minutes to gaze in wonder at my left hand. I was engaged. Nick and I were getting married, and I couldn’t wait to share the news with my family. But there was someone else to consider too, someone who was already very close to my heart.
‘I think you should tell Holly first, before I say anything to Mum and Amelia.’
Nick had been watching in amusement as I slid the turkey into the oven with a whispered ‘good luck’. His smile faded slightly.
‘Are you worried Holly won’t be happy about this? Because I know for a fact she will be. She’s been begging me to ask you for weeks. If I’d waited much longer, she’d probably have asked you herself.’ He dropped his voice, as though sharing a secret. ‘I think she might be angling to be a bridesmaid.’
‘The job’s hers,’ I said, abandoning the oven and joining him on the other side of the room. ‘But I still think it’ll be a big adjustment for her. I don’t want her to feel left out or worry that you won’t have as much time to spend with her now – because you absolutely will.’
‘Andthatis why I love you,’ Nick declared, pulling me against him and kissing the side of my head.
‘Not for my domestic goddess skills?’ I teased, my eyes going to the mess I’d made in the normally tidy kitchen.
‘Strangely… not so much,’ he said on a laugh.
*
A little later, dressed in the cheesiest Christmas jumper I’d been able to find, I ran a comb through my hair and did one last check of my make-up. As I slid the dressing-table drawer shut, my eye fell on the white envelope nestled among the cosmetics and toiletries.Where you’d hidden it, said a voice in my head.Where you’d put it for safe keeping, contradicted another. Curiously, they both sounded like me. I pulled the letter from the drawer. The envelope was a little crumpled, which was hardly surprising given how many times I’d read the letter inside it.
I could hear Nick finishing up in the bathroom and hurriedly dropped the letter back into the drawer, but something stopped me from sliding it shut. It felt like the wrong day to be keeping secrets from each other, especially one this huge.
Nick came into the bedroom and even though my mind was still on the envelope with the NHS logo in the corner, I couldn’t help the breath from catching in my throat. He looked devastatingly attractive, dressed in black jeans and a slim-fitting shirt of the same colour.
‘I promise I’ll wear the reindeer jumper for lunch,’ he said, mistaking the look of concern in my eyes.
‘It’s not that,’ I said, biting my lower lip guiltily as I reached once again into the drawer for the letter.
‘What’s that?’
‘Open it,’ I said, putting the envelope into his hands. His eyes flickered when he saw my name and the familiar blue logo.
‘It’s addressed to you,’ he said.
I nodded. ‘I was going to tell you about this after Christmas… but now, because of what’s happened today…’ My eyes slid down to my hand and despite the sudden seriousness of our conversation, I couldn’t help smiling. ‘I want you to know sooner rather than later.’
His dark brows had drawn together, and a tiny muscle was twitching at the corner of one eye, magnified by the lens of his glasses. He pulled out the single sheet of paper and I know I wasn’t imagining the way it trembled slightly in his hand.
Nick was a fast reader, usually reaching the end of a page even quicker than I did, but he took his time over the letter, as though needing to be quite sure he understood what he was reading.
‘Are you sure, Lexi?’ he asked at last. There was a look on his face that spoke of relief and in hindsight I realised I should have pre-empted the situation with a little more information.
‘I am sure,’ I said, moving away from the dressing table and coming to stand beside him to read the letter again, as though I couldn’t already have recited it verbatim. ‘I’m having my first genetic counselling session in the New Year.’ It was the first step on the road to having the test to discover if I’d inherited the faulty gene.
‘What made you change your mind?’ Nick’s confusion was understandable. I’d not told anyone that over the last few months I’d started to question my insistence that I didn’t want to know what the future had in store for me.
‘Lots of things. Not all of them huge, but it felt like they were growing and that perhapsnotknowing was a greater weight to carry than actually discovering the truth. What do you think?’