I gathered my stuff, put on my shoes, and with my head held high, I marched outside in search of the perfect drawing spot. Something secluded. With a sturdy tree I could sit up against. Only what I found, or more specifically, heard, drew my attention away from thoughts of seclusion.
Someone was playing guitar, and while I dismissed the probability of it being Master Wylde, I was hopeful too, because there was a chance, even if it was a slim one, that I’d catch a glimpse of him from a distance and know that he hadn’t taken off somewhere and given up hope on the chance for the three of us to be together.
The closer I got, the more the questions grew. Like if the Bull and Barrel Bash was over and if he’d ridden. Had they talked rationally, or had Master Thorin resorted to anotherround of shouting while Master Wylde just walked away? I knew he’d come back because he’d texted to say that he’d gotten my gardening supplies and again to say that he missed me. He’d sent pictures of pots and gnomes and messages asking how my day was, but the one message of mine he hadn’t answered was my question about whether things were right between him and Master Thorin.
Someday I hoped to call him Thor the way Master Wylde did. I hoped to call him Wylde again and submit to Master Thor side by side the way we had in the bedroom. So when I saw him playing in a sunbeam, it wasn’t chickens I curled beneath a tree drawing; it was him.
My golden retriever Dom, who looked to be in one piece. No casts, no slings. I wasn’t close enough to see if there were stitches or bruises, so I soothed my terrified soul by imagining that there weren’t and drew him as I had in the living room, adding a cowboy hat with holes that allowed his fluffy ears to poke through and a long piece of straw poking from between his lips. I drew him seated on a hay bale instead of the ground, and I drew the wolf because I felt like he should be there, napping in a sunbeam, one ear up, always on alert for danger. Only then did I draw the chicken doing its funky dance, because that’s how I pictured myself today, as that chicken, dancing because the music moved me to shake my tail feathers and strut all around.
I drew even as I started to lose the light, because Master Wylde kept playing and looked to be in no hurry to go anywhere. And because the songs had turned sad and wistful. I knew each one by heart, but the words caught in my throat when I tried to whisper-sing, then the tears came and I ducked my head, trying to muffle them as they dripped on the cover of my sketchbook. At least I hadn’t ruined the pages I’d drawn, because I finally had something new to upload, and my followers had been leaving comments for days, eager and excited to see what was comingnext. Now I had something to give them, even if it was just a wish that felt a little like a lie.
I couldn’t leave until he left, and when he finally did, I almost hollered his name and ran after him. The only thing that stopped me was the knowledge that I’d just be flapping my wings and wandering in a circle if things weren’t fixed, and I didn’t want it to be that way between us. So, I watched him walk away, then I hurried back to the service sub suites to get ready for my shift in the Dungeon.
Because that was something I could do without feeling like I was accepting less than what I needed, but I felt guilty too, because watching him walk away felt like giving up, and I wasn’t ready to give up on them. I wasn’t ready to give up on us.
Not even close.
I listened to the sounds of the Dungeon as I refilled implement cabinets and only glanced up every now and again to see if they were in the room. I removed tubs of used toys, replaced the robes that had been used, and filled my shift trying not to think about the last time I’d been on one of those tables, when Master Thorin had broken out the plastic paddle with the holes that I’d been so curious about and let me watch him administer a few swats to Master Wylde, who’d been in more of a mood to play alongside me.
“Payne, I see you’ve picked up another double shift.”
Master Derek’s thoughts cut through my memories, and it was probably a good thing too, since thinking about the last time they played with me had left me aching, hard, and forced to pleasure myself several nights this week.
“Yes, Sir, I like to keep busy.”
“Understandable. How are you settling into the suite?”
“Slowly,” I admitted. “I unpacked what I needed, but I don’t want to get too comfortable when I know Master Thorin andMaster Wylde are going to figure everything out and come get me.”
“You developed feelings for them.”
He said it as a statement, not a question, so I nodded my head in agreement. “Yes, Sir. The two weeks I spent with them was one of the most amazing times of my adult life. I got to be me, but I also got to play any character I wanted, and they played along without hesitation. They made it feel real, not like a game, which meant I could lose myself in my role and not have to think about the things that were troubling me, which were all about my art and my career and the brand I’m trying to build and the way I’d kept trying and failing to establish set days to release new material. Only now I’m starting to finally build up a backlog of drawings, because they helped me, just by being themselves and making it okay for me to be me. I might actually be able to set regular release days for new comic strips soon, though I hope to be at the house with them by then. They’ve sort of become my muses, and I know that there are plenty of people around to draw ideas from, and I’m sure I will in time, but there’s just something special about them. Like they are my special people. So, I know they’re going to fix things. I appreciate you letting me stay in the suite and work until then, and I promise to still work shifts even after I get to go live with them.”
“You don’t have to try to convince me of your feelings, Payne; they’re written all over your face,” Master Derek said. “It’s written all over theirs whenever I catch a glimpse of them too. They miss you. I’m sure they’ll work out the issue sooner rather than later because of it. So, keep your chin up and keep doing what you’ve been doing; I’ve received nothing but positive reports about the way you go about your tasks. With any luck, the next time we run into one another, it will be with your Doms by your side. So don’t lose hope; the three of you are good for oneanother. Hold on to your belief in that, and everything will work out the way it should in the end.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“You’re welcome. Have a good rest of your night.”
“You too, Sir,” I replied, feeling a lot lighter knowing they missed me enough that it was noticeable even to a man with as busy of a schedule as Master Derek kept. If he believed that I’d get my fairy tale ending, then I’d keep holding on to that until it happened, and my Doms took me home with them and made all my dreams come true.
Chapter Fifteen
Thorin
“You’ve done an awesome job out here,” I said as I stepped out the back door of the house to take in the full effect of the garden Wylde had created for Payne.
He’d insisted on doing it on his own, right down to the fairy lights he’d woven around the pots and the patio table umbrella, so it resembled the visage Payne had created for us the night he’d done his bootblacking scene.
“Do you really think he’ll like it?”
“I think he’ll love it,” I replied, shocked at the uncertainty in Wylde’s voice and the stunned look in his eyes when I slid my hand up his back and turned him so I could kiss him.
“I threw away the flier,” Wylde murmured, breaking in almost as soon as we got started.
Relief flooded me. Questions followed. Like if he’d done it to placate me, and if so, did that mean the issue would crop up again, somewhere down the line, when he saw another flier and got a wild hair? We couldn’t revisit this week. The silences, the brooding, our boy up at the service sub suites, where we hadn’t been able to catch a glimpse of him since he’d walked away from me.
“Is it out of your system now?” I asked. “Wanting to ride again and all that?”