“You are not a nice human,” Johnny moaned and leaned to rest his head on the table.
“You’ve known that for how long?” Rebel shot back, receiving a middle finger salute from Johnny in response.
“Well, I’m done here,” Rebel declared as he stood and carried his bowl to the sink. “Anyone up for round two tomorrow?”
Responses ranged fromscrew youtogo fuck yourselffrom the rest of our bandmates while Johnny and I both flipped Rebel off.
“I’m going to find something to do that requires absolutely no movement,” Johnny declared as he slowly stood and waddled to the sink with his bowl.
“Same,” Dash said. “Whoever picked out the cotton candy ice cream needs to have their choosing privileges revoked.”
“That goes double for the person who picked up the Rocky Road,” I declared, looking straight at Rebel, who stuck his tongue out at me. “Should have guessed.”
“I thought about grabbing Pistacho too, but even I can’t stomach the stuff,” he admitted.
“Then why the hell would you get it?” Steel asked.
“Because he knows no one else can either, so he’d only have to choke down half a bowl,” Ozzy said. “It would almost be worth it to see him do it too. I think I know what my next pick is gonna be.”
Everybody groaned, even Rebel, who narrowed his eyes and muttered, “Game on.”
“Come on, guys, don’t escalate this; it’s gone too far already,” Dash pleaded. “Pistachio is no bueno. We do not want to do that to ourselves.”
“I’ll see your pistachio and raise you rum raisin,” Rebel declared.
“Eww, no, foul on the play!” Johnny declared. “Wasn’t Rum Raisin outlawed right alongside Chunky Monkey?"
“If it wasn't, it should have been!” Dash said. “Bananas, raisins, and walnuts do not belong in ice cream!”
Ozzy just groaned and looked like he was suddenly regretting his life choices. “Unfortunately, it wasn’t banned, though now I’m wishing it had been. I’ll formally retract my threat regarding pistachio if you’re willing to agree that both it and rum raisin need to be added to the banned list.”
So far, I’d only heard about the banned list, and was only privy to a handful of things that were on it. Chunky Monkey I was completely onboard with it, considering my feelings about nuts, and hearing how the originalGone in 60 Secondshad wound up on it hadn’t inspired me to want to pull up a streaming service to find the movie. All marble games had been banned after someone had misplaced one of the ones in the mousetrap game, and Dash had bruised his tailbone after he stepped on it and landed on his ass.
“Yeah, okay, we can ban those,” Rebel said. “But don’t even think about trying to ban Rocky Road.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Ozzy said.
They shook on it, then Dash produced a little red book from his back pocket and started flipping through the pages.
“So there really is an actual list,” I muttered as I watched him add the ice cream flavors to it.
“What, did you think we had it memorized?” Ozzy asked. “No way we’d keep anything straight that way. Everything band-related is in that book. From the bylaws we put together to all the editions we’ve made along the way. Important votes and venuesto avoid. You should read it sometime. It’ll give you a lot of good insight into how the band has evolved, as well as a glimmer of what you’re in for the next time prank wars jump off.”
“Thanks, I will,” I replied, already itching to get my hands on that sacred book.
Reading about the decisions and misadventures that had shaped them would only help me grow even closer to my new bandmates and maybe clue me in on some things to avoid. Like anything else that was on their banned list.
“Go for it,” Dash said, passing it over when he’d finished writing. “Just make sure you get it back to me when you’re finished; the rest of these fucks can’t be trusted with it. Every last one of them has lost it at least once.”
“In all fairness, I had a lot of help,” Ozzy pointed out.
“The first time, maybe, and only because Johnny, Jagger, and Hennesy were involved, but the two times after that were all on you,” Dash pointed out as I took it and immediately headed for the brown and tan easy chair in front of the fireplace.
I heard Steel laugh behind me, then his voice as he addressed someone. "Well, we’ve lost him for the night.”
“Nah, he’ll have questions, which means I get to entertain you both with stories,” Rebel declared.
“You have fun with that,” Dash declared. “I’m loading The Hobbit and vegging out for the rest of the night.”