The black chair glows. “Or life.”
Before I can even think about what they mean, the visions are in my head, ripping straight into my mind like a knife. The first vision they show me is beautiful. In my soul, I know it’s many years later. I’m sitting on a tiny private balcony, overlooking a greenhouse attached to the side of Starlight Academy. Rangers move around the grounds outside, walking to classes, and as I look down, I notice my cloak has a symbol on it I don’t know. A white background and a black snake wrapped around a six-point star. I think I’m a tutor at the academy. My hair is braided andhangs over my shoulder, and a cat I don’t know is sitting on my lap, all grey fur and an odd black tail. It is raining over Starlight City, over the rebuilt towers and houses, but light shines from many star statues built onto the tops of the buildings.
“Alpha,” Annie walks out the door behind me and sits down on the stool at my side. Her stomach is rounded, and there is no mistaking why. She rubs her stomach as she grins at me. Her blonde hair is cut short to her shoulders, and the tips of her hair are green. “The ten-year celebration preparations are waiting for you. You can’t hide up here forever.”
“Stop calling me alpha to annoy me into going down there. Severi usually hides with me, but it’s Franklin’s first lesson with him, and he would never miss it.” I grin at her. “Not that Franklin has to worry; we have all been training him for years for the academy. He’s going to be the best student the academy has seen since me.”
Annie barks out a laugh. “I was worried I was in labour this morning, but apparently, it’s just practice contractions. I was with Onyx at breakfast when it happened, and he freaked out with worry. I have a feeling he would be so much worse when you finally decide to make me an auntie.”
“We’re not ready for children yet,” I remind her softly. I’m not sure if I ever will be or if I want to make a new generation with God powers. Any children we would have…they’d be unstoppable and so powerful. Maybe we can adopt a child…we did good with Franklin, I think. He is a good kid.
“I know, and you’re going to be the best aunt either way. I’m so glad it all worked out this way. I know we lost a lot to get here, but you really are the best alpha female Starlight City has ever seen.”
The vision fades and I grab for it, tears falling down my cheeks. I want that future, I want it so desperately. I don’t know if it’s real or a lie the Gods are showing me, but what if it is true?What if we fight for everything and have that at the end? All the tiredness I felt in my soul lifts at that vision…it’s a dream. Just like Rhodes said.
The next vision is different and heartbreaking. Dark and cruel. The world itself is plunged into a permanent grey shadow, and it smells of blood. I don’t feel anything, not my mate bonds, not joy or happiness. I’m alone. Truly alone. My mates are on their knees in front of me, each one of them doesn’t look me in the eye as they stay bowed. There is a crowd behind them, filling a throne room I’ve never seen before. Black spikes jut up the walls all around the edges, dripping with fresh blood. The throne itself is blood-red. I lift my hand up in front of my face, looking at my dark nails, my pale skin in a dark, tight dress, and then across at a world of people bowing to me.
This is an entirelydifferentfuture.
The vision fades, leaving me gasping on my hands and knees in the sand. My head is pounding as I try to breathe in and out and try hard not to be sick. I push away the feeling of that last vision, how cruel and cold I was. I was a horrible person there, unfeeling and empty. My Nexus whispers to me. “I ruled like that once, but my mates were my equals.”
I know the Snake God is trying to scare me, but I have to believe I would never accept that future. “But you would accept it…when you lose your humanity. When there is nothing left of this world or the next, you will be its queen and rule with no mercy, no morality…nothing. Your Nexus…that is her fate before we stepped in and changed the fates. We made her a Nexus, made her attached to you…a soul worthy of being a ruler, and gave her a chance to witness the goodness of humanity. You have failed to keep her contained as we had hoped.” The Snake God pauses. “Each one of these thrones will lead you to each path you are fated for, and that fate cannot be changed. This is your finaltest. If you choose right, you will meet us where only Gods can walk.”
The Snake God’s voice disappears, leaving me in silence.
“You know what we have to do,” I speak only to my Nexus. “The choice is simple.”
“Or…we could be cowards and take the other choice. It looked rather amazing to me. All that bowing and blood…” She sounds in a daze.
“Really?” I mutter.
I can practically hear her huff. “In my last life, people bowed whenever they saw me. You don’t make them bow enough. It’s a sign of respect to a Goddess.”
“Last time, you sounded like a psychopath who liked to swim in blood and kill people other than your mates and these asshole God friends of yours,” I remind her. “It didn’t end well. Let’s try my way this time.”
“As long as I get to kill some people, I’m happy,” she responds. I roll my eyes and walk right up to the white throne and pick up the dagger. I sit down, breathing out a nervous breath, and I wish I could tell my mates that I’m going to be okay, because they are going to feel this and lose their minds. I position the dagger tip in front of my heart and plunge it in deep. I die in seconds.
Chapter
Twelve
Ifeel no pain when I wake up—though I wouldn’t surely call it waking. More like drifting up from my body, which I can see when I look down. Through a shimmering water, I see my body slouched on the throne, blood pouring down my body from the dagger in my chest. Dying always hurts like a bitch. Waking from death does too. I have to pull my eyes up from my body, to focus on the mirror in front of me.
“This is us. Our true form…”my Nexus explains in wonder. I look…different but the same. My hair is stark white, falling around me in soft waves, and my eyes are pure white too. A snake, as black as anything, is wrapped around my waist, my arms, my neck, slithering across my forehead and resting its head on top of mine, wrapped around me as if we’re almost one being. Connected always. The snake has runes in its scales, dozens of them, so much like the runes Onyx draws for magic and protection. Onyx spent six months learning so many new ones and trying to use them to find me. I touch my white hair that feels like silk, before touching my pale, glittering skin and black dress that clings to my curves.
“It has been a long time since a new Goddess walked this plane, Morrigan.” A God speaks right behind me. I don’t turn to look at him, not for a second anyway, but when I do, I’m surprised to see how normal he looks. He has the glittering skin like mine, just as pale and unusual, but he is normal.
“I prefer Gwen,” I answer, watching him closely. Which God is he?
Of course, my new companion says nothing; he only stares in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. His own hair is as white as mine in this place, but instead of a snake waving around him, there is an eagle perched on his shoulder, its big wings spreading down level with his arms, its claws dug deep—deep enough that it looks like it’s cutting him, but it is not. The eagle’s head is bowed. His Nexus, I realise. Or his soul, the way the snake is mine. “We look like this because we are made from pure starlight. We are stars; they are our family and listen to our commands. One day, all of us will return to nothing but stardust once more.” He walks around me in a circle. “You are just as beautiful as your first life, Morrigan. Just as stunning, even remade as you are by us.”
Ew. Why is he hitting on me?
“Is this what we look like after death? Our animals woven around us like this?” I question to try to distract him. Might as well ask some questions while I’m here.
“Yes, and no. Some—only Gods—walk this plane like this, and are given this place of death. Everyone else is thrown back to the fates, re-birthed in time, just as you were. This is not your first time walking the earth, as you well know,” he explains, still staring at me.
“And mate bonds? Do you decide them? Did you pick my mates for me?” I ask next.