Healer Dorothy pushes up her thick glasses that have slipped down her nose. Her curly grey hair, cut short, makes her look so pretty. She is my favourite healer; there is something about her that always makes me feel at ease. She has a kind soul, I think. Healer Dorothy stares at Feyre.
“I’ve seen people come back from far worse than this. From things that are unimaginable, like she went through. We’re getting everything ready to help with her long term—with the memories, I mean. Her brother, her only family, has agreed that it’s probably the best method going forward. It won’t fix everything for Feyre. The fear will still be there, but at least it won’t be something present in her mind every day. We understand that Feyre has been through enough to break her mind; all of it is sometimes too much for anyone to handle. We’llwork endlessly, me and my team, until we figure out a solution and Feyre is able to have a life. It might not be the same life as before, but it will be something good. That, I am determined to give her.”
“Thank you.” I smile warmly and leave Feyre with the healer, shutting the door behind me and heading to the kitchen. Onyx is there alone, and only Nibbles is sleeping on the sofa. It’s around midday, so I know Hollis would have taken Franklin out to his daily schooling classes, but I expected Gwen to be here. Onyx looks so pale in the kitchen, a strangeness to him that wasn’t there before his near death experience. I don’t know exactly what happened to him, but Gwen made it clear she nearly lost him for good and Severi saved him. The prince of the Vian is full of surprises.
“Where’s everyone?” I ask Onyx, walking to the fridge and pulling it open. I grab a glass bottle of apple juice and pull out a stool, leaning on the counter.
“They’re all at training. I started earlier this morning—I needed a break,” he explains to me. “I was just making eggs on toast. Would you like some? I have extra.”
“Yeah, that’d be great.” I grin, making myself comfy on the stool now I’m staying. He cooks in silence for a while, and I’m not sure what to say to him. Would it be rude to ask what it’s like to die? If he is okay now, he nearly died?
“How’s Feyre?” Onyx breaks the silence first.
“Well, she let me help her shower today, so I think that’s somewhat a step in the right direction. It’s difficult. She lost her father, and I know what it’s like to lose all of your family and have pretty much no one left. But she does have her brother, so I guess she’s lucky there.” I shrug a shoulder. “Trauma…it affects everyone differently. Some people just shut down like Feyre did. I keep going because it feels better not to rest.”
Onyx stares at me, something flashing across his eyes, before he goes back to the eggs. He makes two plates, bringing them over and setting one in front of me before sitting opposite on a stool. He offers me a range of sauces before I settle on ketchup, and he has the same. “Eggs are my favourite breakfast ever since I was a kid. I used to call them pop eggs and pop them like a balloon.” I’m not sure why I tell him that random thing, but he doesn’t laugh at me.
“Me too.” He gruffly clears his throat. A pause stretches where he is just staring at me.
“You alright?” I ask. “I mean, I know you died recently and came back… Does it make you sick sometimes? I’m rambling, and shit, did I upset you? I’m sorry if I did upset you. Sometimes I talk too much?—”
“No, Annie, you haven’t upset me.” He stops me mid-rant. “There’s something I need to tell you, and I’m debating if this is the best moment I’m going to get before the war. Gwen wanted to be here when I told you, because she’s worried about your reaction, but with everything going on, I just want to tell you. Just in case. The near death experience was enough to make me realise that I need to take all the opportunities I can in life.”
“Tell me what, Onyx?” I put my fork down. The eggs and toast sit heavy in my stomach.
“I never knew your parents. Not really. But I knew your mother sometimes, because she would come to the house and bring you along,” he starts, reminding me.
“I remember.” I cross my arms. “It’s getting a bit—I’m feeling like this is really awkward, so you might just want to spit out whatever it is, and then we can move past it.”
“It’s something to do with my father. Was he around a lot when you were a kid? Do you remember him a lot?” He asks me directly, and I feel like the answer is important.
“Yes, he would come often and bring me gifts. He was good friends with my parents, so it was expected.” I shrug. “He’d bring you to see me sometimes when we were really young, and then that just stopped. Do you remember why?”
“Because he was your biological father, and I’m your brother. Half-brother, to be exact.” He lets me have a minute. “I think the visits stopped because he felt guilty or my mother found out. Not sure which.”
I don’t know what to say. My mouth opens and shuts a few times as I stare at Onyx. And I mean, really stare at him. He doesn’t look anything like me. I don’t look like him. I think about how polar opposite we are as I lean back in my seat. All I can think is that he wouldn’t lie about it. Onyx is many things, but I know he wouldn’t lie about this. Onyx Nieminen is my half-brother, and Paavo Nieminen is my biological father. It makes so much sense now, how much he was around, how he interfered in my life and made time to see me when I was older. He even protested about me joining the academy…which I thought was because he was a family friend and he saw me grow up. It was because he was my father that entire time. The alpha of Starlight City, who ran away and let it be destroyed. The alpha who arranged the murder of my mother and the man who I grew up thinking was my father. He took everything from me, let Kosma kidnap me and take me to the Vian. He locked up and hurt Gwenieve. The man was horrid, and I am his daughter. Oh Gods.
“But that—that man—he was my father?” I sputter. “He killed my mother! He let Vian drain her!” I shake my head in disbelief. Not that I don’t believe it is true, but I can’t believe anyone can be that evil and cruel. “Your father and mother were mated!”
Onyx rubs the back of his neck. “Maybe Gwen should be here. I can call her?—“
“No.” I stop him. “No, just tell me.”
“Well, being mated doesn’t stop cheating, for some people at least. You knew my father well enough to understand what he was like, and I’m glad that he introduced us as kids. It’s probably the only half-decent thing he did in his life.” He exhales slowly. “I don’t know what happened between him and your mother. I can’t tell you any of that. I don’t know why your father decided not to say anything and to bring you up as his own. What I can tell you is that the relationship between my mother and father was strained. She never trusted him, never was truly invested in him. She just loved me. I wonder if it was because she found out, maybe. She could feel when a mate cheats.” His voice quiets. “I hate thinking of her upset like that. It hurts to think of her like that when she was a sweet and kind woman who wouldn’t hurt anyone. I do not understand how fate could make a man like my father mated to an angel like my mother. She died in Starlight, in front of me, and I wish I got to say goodbye. My father ran away…and he left her to die.”
My heart clenches. I vaguely remember seeing Onyx’s mother staring at me at some posh events I attended. We never spoke, she never came up to me, but I remember my mother saying she was a kind woman who deserved the world. It’s all so twisted.
Onyx continues, “But it is, unfortunately, the reality of what happened in the past to create us.” He looks at me steadily. “And I want to say it was all a bad thing, but I can’t, because I’m your brother, and I would really like to be in your life, Annie. I would like us to put the past behind us—whatever messed-up decisions our parents decided to make—and just be siblings. My mate loves you, and she knew from the very beginning that you were a great person and you are a sister to her. Gwen hasn’t known long about this, and I don’t want you to think she kept it from you on purpose. I only found out when our father died. It was the last thing he told me before I ended his life. I guess he wanted me tohave someone when he was gone, or for you to have someone. I got the impression he always really did care about you. He just wasn’t a good man.”
We stare at each other for a long time until our eggs have gone cold, and I don’t know what to say to him.
“I still don’t know how to feel about this.” I hold my hand up and stand. “That’s not to say it’s a bad thing—just shocking. Gwen, I understand why she hasn’t said anything. Thank you for telling me, but I just need some time to process all of this. Paavo Nieminen was not a good man, and it’s a legacy I didn’t want. A brother? I think that could be a good thing. I just need time.”
“Of course,” Onyx quickly replies, his brow creasing. “Would?—“
I walk away from him before he can finish his sentence. I just need—need someone else. Someone different who I can trust and who I can talk to about this who is neutral. There is only one person I want to run to, and it surprises me that it is him. I go and stand outside his door and knock twice before I overthink it. Issan is my mate, and I can trust him. He isn’t Kosma, and he won’t betray me. My Nexus pushes gently across my mind, almost hugging me, and I feel her agreement that Issan is the person we need right now.
Issan pulls the door open, and my breath catches at how stunning he is. His shirt half on as he pulls it over his head, the grey fabric looking soft against his thick chest, shorts hanging around his tight waist. His braids hang down his back, and his worried eyes flicker over me. I glance behind him at the weights on the floor in front of the massive window. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting your training. I can go?—”