All of them sit there staring at me for a moment. “I’m going to sit on the balcony outside. I’m sure it’ll be a while before the healers come, and my head could do with some quiet.”
“May I come with you?” Alek asks before anyone else can.
I nod. The others make themselves busy settling in, and Alek and I go out onto the balcony together in silence. It’s cold out here, a chill to the air that is so different from Mexico. There are still some cuddle chairs to the left with a blanket. I sit down, andAlek sits next to me, holding his arm out. I snuggle into his side, his arm slipping around my waist. Alek pulls the blanket over us, and we watch over the city for a long time, never saying a word. I asked for quiet, and that’s exactly what Alek always gives me.
“I had a lot of time to think. With the king, when he was torturing me, it was better for me to go somewhere else mentally. To try to think of something else, imagine the good parts of my past. Sometimes the bad parts would demand their moment when I was weak and when I was pretty sure I was close to death.”
His arm tightens around me. “I wish I could have stopped it. It feels like I failed you by not stopping him. I was powerless to do anything but search.”
“I never much thought about the mating ceremony day before because it hurt to think of that day. My parents coached me for years on what I had to say, how I had to run after I rejected you and all the reasons it must be this way. That day, when my hands trembled as I put on the red cloak, was hard to remember. I walked the path so many others had done, to accept their mates, and stood in that temple of the Gods, before a priest whose face I could not see, who looked down at me. I rejected the bond, and it tore me apart. Before I ran, I remember thinking there was something about that priest that I couldn’t put my finger on.” I pause. “I think I remember now. Or at least, I have a suspicion. I never saw your face, but I heard a wolf howling when I ran, and I’ve heard that howl since then.”
“It was me.” A long silence echoes between us. He was there that day, all those years ago. I rejected him in person. Oh Gods. “The ceremony. I told you I didn’t have much family to turn to. I had an aunt and uncle, but they were distant people. They sent presents for my birthday, but they weren’t very good, and they certainly didn’t offer to let me live with them when my parents died. There weren’t many places to turn when you’re thrown intoan orphanage in Starlight City as a kid with no money or good family to step in.”
He exhales slowly before continuing. “I’d always felt a calling to the Gods. Now I know it as more than that. One God in particular was calling to me, but back then, when I was a kid—young and lost—I decided that becoming a priest was the best thing for me. I did everything they asked, until that day. Until the day I saw you, long before you rejected that bond, where I begged to be the one to oversee the ceremony. I thought I could lift my hood, tell you that I’m your mate, and we’d walk off together to plan our future when we were both old enough.” He pauses. “Little did I know you’d have other mates. Little did I know you would reject the bond. I felt my world crashing down when you did, and my Nexus was broken. I immediately decided I didn’t want to be a priest anymore. I rejected it all and decided I needed to find you.”
He shifts slightly to cup my face. “Those scars on my back—that was my punishment for leaving. It’s meant to be a life choice, not one to walk away from. But I all but ran after you, Gwen. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
So that is what has been holding him back for so long; that’s the thing he wanted me to remember. I climb onto his lap. My hair falls down between us. He covers the back of my neck with his hand, pulls me in, and he kisses me softly. “I’m sorry I caused you pain, Alek.”
“Don’t be sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I wanted you to remember first. It was important to me that it’s not just something I told you—that it’s something you remembered for yourself.” He kisses me again, much more like a gentle caress.
“I think I always knew. I just—I buried a lot of my memories because of the pain. I didn’t want to reject you or the bond, so it was really hard to run away. I’ve had to face a lot of things since then, and now…well, there’s been a lot going on.” I weakly smileback before changing the subject. “Listen. Like I said, I had a lot of time to think, and I need to talk to you. I want your opinion.”
He strokes my back. “You have my honest opinion always.”
“I was not meant to be a twin,” I murmur. “That was not how the original Morrigan was meant to be. She was on her own and her power was hers. Yes, she was powerful and out of control, and the king theorised that we were twins this time because it was too much power for one person to carry. But it means I am never at my full strength while she’s alive, and I’m always a threat to the world while she is too. I think the Gods, or whoever designed us, made us twins because to be that powerful, there must be an ultimate sacrifice for the power. A death of one of us.” I look out over the city. “I know I can lure her to me. I can ask Severi to find a way. My mother gave me something—she told me it was for the worst day. The box never had much meaning to me, but there was one memory attached to it that I can’t shake. I was only a kid, really young. She told me the box was for the day that I finally became who I was meant to be and took life. She cried so hard. She was so upset for the rest of the day. I always thought giving up her baby was what broke her. But I think it was because she knew we are fated to kill one of us.” I meet his eyes. “I think I need to kill my twin sister.”
“It’s the right thing to do, and I’ve long suspected the same. You both can absorb powers; you both are powerful in different ways. With her gifts, you could be at full strength and heal.” He strokes my hair back from my face. “You would be a Goddess. Not just your Nexus…but you. You were born to be one, but killing your sister…it is a terrible act. Even with everything she has done. You have to be certain.”
“I am.” I look across the city. My voice shakes. Death is not new to me, but my twin sister? I will never love her, not when she has made so many bad choices…but I cannot walk away fromthis fate. “Because if I don’t do this, I won’t be able to stop her and the king. This world will die and burn.”
“I support you and I am proud of you for making this choice.” He pauses. “What makes you think she’ll come to see you alone?”
“Because I’m going to give her the box that my mother gave me and tell her she left it for her daughter.”
Chapter
Eight
“Iwas surprised that she agreed to meet so soon, and it doesn’t look like there are any traps around here.” Severi kneels next to me, all three of us hidden in a hedge not far from the meeting spot. Severi looks at me. “I don’t trust this. We just got you back…”
Hollis clears his throat. “We can’t lose you now.”
“You won’t. My Nexus can sense things too, and no one is here. Rhodes is out there and he would have messaged us anything he found. He says it is clear,” I gently remind them both. The only reason the king got me last time was because of Onyx and because I walked to him. After today, after this, I will not be taken by any immortal king again.
When Alek and I told all my mates and Annie what I need to do, no one looked at me with judgment. They supported me in a way I could only dream of being supported and made plans to get a message to Georgina. Georgina made it easy to contact her, considering she has been quite public in the Vian city. Rhodes’s friends in the city had no issue delivering a message and collecting a reply the next day to send to us.
Hollis grunts. “I should check it over one more time. We have ten minutes until she is expected here.”
“Severi and you have already done it three times over, but there’s nothing here. It’s just a bench overlooking what used to be London.” I push down the guilt I feel when I think of how the city, one of life, is now dust. I can see it from here, at least the tips of the buildings in the distance, and there is nothing but grey towers. Even the trees of this place, Primrose Hill, are grey and dead like the grass and flowers. A perfect place to look at the destruction we caused. I want to feel all the guilt for it. I want the guilt to swallow me whole and spit me out the other side, but I know that it was not something I chose to do. I cannot be made to feel guilty for an action that was not my choice. It was something my sister did willingly. There’s a big difference, and one I need to accept so I can keep moving. This was her choice. Her destruction. The blood is on her hands, not mine. I may be a monster, but she was the one who used me to destroy. “We wait.”
Hollis kisses my cheek and sits back, but he is tense and on alert. Severi is still watching the bench as if it might turn into a bomb. “My sister would come to see me, even now, even though she probably thinks I’m a traitor. Family bonds are interesting like that. Georgina will come.”
“I’m surprised your father isn’t usingyoursister, Severi, to try to get you to come back to him,” Hollis enquires. “If you care for her. I wasn’t sure; you never showed any friendliness with her in court.”
“We kept any friendship and loyalty between us a secret, and it was best to do that within the court. She is a good person, and many respect her,” Severi admits. “And because she is a girl, my father ignores her existence. She is lucky.”
I touch his back just once, just so he knows I’m here as he thinks about what it cost him to be the chosen prince to the mad king. How much he suffered for it. Rhodes comes back, sittingdown just as Georgina appears. Her long blonde hair flows over her back as she sits down on the bench, looking so casual in jeans and a tank top. Almost human. Yet she is the reason I can’t sleep at night without nightmares haunting me, without hearing the screams of a city and the pain of the ones left behind, missing their lost ones.