“Would you like us to continue this at a later day?” Alexandra offered kindly. “We are almost done with the preparations, and there is barely anything else we would need that your lady’s maid or even your godmother herself cannot tell us.”
“You have been quite busy of late. With training Scar and planning your wedding… I imagine that it all has been wearing you out.” Lady Anna added with an apologetic expression.
“No,” Agnes shook her head slowly. “No, I’m all right, really. Yes… things have been a little tasking, but I’m fine. Just…” She bit her lip thoughtfully for a moment and sighed. “… thinking. About Silas.”
“Oh.” The Dowager Duchess’ face went blank. “Are you perhaps having second thoughts –”
“Absolutely not,” Agnes objected, a little scared at the thought. “No. I simply meant that I did not know him. And I wish I did.Our marriage might be for reasons that we stand to benefit from separately, but still… I wish to be a good wife to him. For him. And that cannot happen if Ido not knowhim – what he likes, what he does not like. His thoughts and feelings. I… know it is probably too much to ask, given our circumstances –”
“It is not,” Alexandra interrupted with a soft smile. “You will be spending the rest of your life with him if all goes well. It is theleastyou should desire about someone you are about to be joined in matrimony with. I might not be able to tell you everything about him – especially seeing as he has changed so much since my dear Nicholas was taken from us so suddenly. But do not be fooled by the cold exterior he wields like a shield. As a boy, he was quite mischievous and – dare I say –tiresome, at times.”
Lady Anna scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Even now, you are still trying to coddle him. He was not tiresome. That child was anabsolute menace.” She crooked a finger at her goddaughter and when she leaned in, continued suspiciously. “One time, I came to visit, and the little terror had somehow managed to set a frog loose in the mansion. It took the entire staff – along with him – two hours to catch the thing.”
Alexandra laughed. “Oh, but that was such a fun day! Nicholas had instructed that Silas retrieve it alone since he had caused the problem, but after an hour of stumbling and diving under furniture to catch it – and failing to do so – the household came together to help him. He was like that – inspiring adoration and loyalty. Most of his fumbles always led to the most precious of moments that left you cooing at him rather than upset. When he was three, he wandered away from his nanny and somehowended up in the kitchen next to some of the crushed blueberries that were to be baked into a pie for dinner. By the time he was found, there was barely any part of his skin that wasn’t blue!”
Agnes tried to imagine three-year-old Silas wobbling about on unsteady legs, blue and unaware of the chaos he was causing, and giggled at the thought.
As if his grandmother could read her mind, she started speaking again.
“Even as he learned to walk, he was something else. Most children hold onto their parents, but Silas was too eager to learn on his own. He clutched at anything and everything in sight. Drapes, tablecloths, skirts – anything that would pass by, he would reach for. One time, he managed to drag down the Christmas tree that had been set up for a party. When the servants rushed into the room after hearing the crash, he was the only thing standing. It was quite a sight.”
Agnes began to laugh, slowly losing the ability to breathe, groaning when Lady Anna took the opportunity to tell another story,
“He once got chased by an angry duck because he cut too big a piece of bread and hurled it into the water, and it accidentally hit a duckling. He didn’t mean to, but the thing chased him around the park for a solid six minutes, and he ran around screaming at the top of his lungs.”
By the time her godmother had finished retelling the event, Agnes was wheezing, cheeks flushed as she gasped for air between chuckles. It was hard to believe that Silas had been this endearing and just as much of a menace as most children were. In her mind, the image of him that had begun to soften into a sad man who had no idea how to properly deal with grief took on a different look, appearing more and more relatable with each passing moment.
The stories gave her hope for their future that someday, that childlike joy he had once enjoyed would return to him.
“Do you want to hear more? We have so many to tell.” Alexandra offered, feeling relieved at the look of enjoyment that had taken over the sad cloud that had hovered above Agnes.
Agnes cleared her throat and sat upright, her lips failing to keep themselves from curling upwards in mirth.
“Yes, please. I want to hear it all.”
Chapter Fourteen
The Dowager’s stories kept Agnes in high spirits for the rest of the afternoon and still made her laugh as she recalled them on her way to the stables.
She really would never have thought that as a child, Silas would be a walking disaster, given how put together he was now. But it felt good to know that he had once been endearing and potentially still could be. She still had no clue how their future would pan out – particularly given how things had been between them.
But she had begun to toy with the idea of having hope, wanting more from their arrangement. Her sisters were her top priority, but if she had to get a husband before she could be able to reach them, would it not be better to make the most of who it was she would be attaining? It felt as though she had heard that she needed to get married without fully understanding what that meant, without caring.
And that oversight had made it easy for walls to grow between them because she had never been interested in anything else. Now, she was curious about Silas. She had put a face to his name and, after that, added his touch and taste into the collection of things she knew about him. He went from being a… concept to someone she had spoken to, someone who had tended to her when she had been injured, someone who had distracted her from her sorrows.
Silas was an enigma she wanted to unravel. She only hoped that he would let her.
Simon was in the stable brushing a horse – which she recognized moments later as Outlaw, the horse she had ridden alongside Silas and Scar a few days ago – and his face lit up at the sight of her. He bowed quickly, rising with a smile that made her want to pat his cheek.
“Good evening, my lady,” he greeted in the gentle way he always did.
“Good evening, Simon. How are you?” she smiled at him, reaching out to stroke the stallion’s mane.
“I am well, thank you.” he paused, then added with a grin. “I’m getting excited for the competition. It is nearly here, and Scar has been doing really well! He is going to stun everyone in attendance.”
She shared his enthusiasm easily, grinning as she replied, “Absolutely. I believe so, as well. He was born to be a star, andthat is precisely what he will be on the day of the competition. I really can’t wait to watch him show just what he is made of.”
He beamed at her and moved, likely to saddle Scar for her, but stopped when she placed her hand on his shoulder.