She won the race – even running past the tree – and circled her horse back around while Silas slowed down as he arrived at it, dismounting to wait for her, thankful that his worries had been for nothing and she was truly feeling much better. She dismounted and flopped on her back onto the grass with a sigh of relaxation.
There was a lake close to where they were, its shimmering waters filling Silas with a slight semblance of peace. Agnes stared up at the sky, appearing deep in thought, shielded from the sun by the thick leaves of the tree. Every now and again, a beam of sunlight would pass through the cluster of leaves and leave a bright spot on her skin, lighting up her pretty eyes and making Silas’ skin itch with heavy want.
He had barely scolded himself for being unable to keep his thoughts at bay before she chuckled slightly, then again – louder – laughing and laughing until her body began to shake, cheeks flushed deep red.
He was a little confused by her display of mirth, and when he tried to ask her if she had taken leave of her senses, he noticed the tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were closed, and her hands had come up to press against her mouth, but he could still hear the little sob ripping out of her throat, and the tears did not stop.
Silas felt a sting in his heart at the sight of her weeping, and he sat down next to her, unsure of what to do. He reached out to her but stopped before his hand could come in contact with hers, pulling back as he cleared his throat.
“When… when I was ten, my parents took me to see a traveling carnival. My mother had spent hours the day before telling me tales of the ones she had seen when she was a little girl, and – and they sounded too good to be true. But still, I was excited for it. When we arrived… I was in awe. It was everything I had imagined and more. The vibrant colors in sight, the sounds of laughter, applause, and cheers, the smell of sweets in the air… I could never forget it.
“My favorite of the performances we watched involved a gymnast duo and their horses. Beautiful creatures draped in white garments decorated with red jewels. The acrobats were interesting, but the horses were the most amazing things I’d ever seen. Strong and disciplined, reliable and loyal. I could not stoptalking about them for days on end – and I only did because my father had bribed me to stop by promising to take me to see the carnival again whenever it was in town. He also said he would speak to my grandfather to teach me about horses. When they passed – my parents… horses were the other things in my life that made sense. Caring for them, riding them, and spending time with them made me feel alive like my lungs still worked and I had not just… faded without realizing it. And when my grandfather gave Scar to me, it felt as though I was back at that carnival, surrounded by life and color and hope.”
He stopped, tearing his eyes away from the water to glance at her, relieved to find her looking right back at him. He took his handkerchief from his pocket and carefully dabbed at her damp cheeks, thankful when she let him without a fuss.
“I think they saved me. Horses. I think that they’re saving me every day, taking away my worries and burdens with every moment I spend with them. That’s why I love them so much.”
He had never told anyone that, had never felt inclined to share a precious memory he had made mere weeks before his parents passed. But with her, it all came out easily, frighteningly so. But he found out that he did not mind a single bit.
Agnes felt calmer, lured back to peace by his story, shocked that he would share something so personal without being asked to. His vulnerability eased back the walls she had tried to hold up around him, and she found that she did not mind that, oddly content with not thinking of him as disdainfully as she had grown to.
With a light sniff, she muttered, “thank you.”
He shifted his gaze back to the water, allowing how it shimmered beneath the sun to remind him of gleaming jewels and twinkling stage lights, more than content to share this space with her, as he had with his fondest memory.
“Of course.”
Chapter Thirteen
Agnes crawled out of bed before the sun rose.
Even though her body ached to return to the soft and warm cocoon of her sheets and covers, there was still quite a bit to be done and not a lot of time left. She had worked really hard these past few weeks, and now, with only a few days until two of the biggest events of her life, she was doing all she could to keep her strength up and advance forward.
Thankfully, there weren’t more incidents after she had fallen last week, but she still felt anxious. Silas had suspected that his cousin was behind the sabotage and told her he would handle it but did not inform Agnes of the result of whatever actions he carried out. Agnes was very surprised to learn that Lord Hamilton’s competitive streak was this strong and disappointed that he was not above harming others to get what he wanted.
Even though it terrified her to have been involved in their spat, she felt even more justified over her decision to stand beforeSilas to ensure that he did not go ahead with his plan to let his cousin win the competition.
Such a person did not deserve to be rewarded with ease for his evil deeds.
And she might not be overly fond of her husband-to-be, but she could understand why he felt it would be best to grant Lord Hamilton the victory he so desperately desired. If she were the one who had to deal with someone so tiring and potentially dangerous, she too might decide to simply grant him his wishes in hopes of being left alone.
Agnes quickly changed into her riding habit and threw a cloak on before leaving the mansion, hoping to be able to warm Scar up a little and run over some of the drills he had mastered by the time breakfast was ready. The sky had taken up a pale blue color by the time she was outside, the darkness of night fading away gradually as some of the chill it had brought on lingered, and she suppressed a shiver, pulling her cloak closer as she marched to the stable.
Most of the horses were still asleep, but Scar was waiting for her, huffing softly as she approached his stall and reached out to stroke his nose. For a moment, her mind wandered to his master, and her heart twisted in her chest.
After Silas had shared that little bit of his past, it had been hard to reconcile the image of him by her side with the Duke, who seemed to have been tasked with getting on her nerves. Shewanted to know more about him, to understand him, to ease away whatever worries might be haunting him.
It was infuriating since he still insisted on keeping their relationship formal and refused to address the kiss that had taken place in his study. It was getting quite tiring, not knowing what to do with him.
She saddled Scar – checking every part properly to ensure nothing was out of place – and led him out of the stable, nearly jumping out of her skin in fright as she caught sight of a dark figure standing close by.
“Heavens! Lady Agnes? Why are you out here so early?”
Agnes blinked and looked closer, shoulders slumping as she sighed in relief after recognizing the person in front of her.
“Mrs. Safield, why areyouout so early? You nearly sent me to my death!”
The housekeeper tutted in disbelief. “I am sorry, my lady, but I do tend to take early morning walks quite often. I suppose you want to take Scar for a ride?”