She blushes, and this time, kisses me deeper. Stealing my goddamn breath from my lungs. “Slapping you made me really wet.”
I groan, tipping my head back. “This is torture.”
She giggles, the spark behind her eyes is back, and that is what I need to see. To know she’s okay.
That will keep me going.
I’m not going down for this. Not when I’ve got something worth fighting for.
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
LOLA
I wakeup to a small finger prodding me on the forehead.
“Lola.” A whisper. Close enough that I can feel his breath on my face. “Lola, wake up.”
I blink my eyes open, and Wyatt is right there, just inches away in his pajamas. I sit bolt upright and paste on a smile before my brain has fully caught up. “Hey, bud. Are you okay?”
He shrugs and glances at the empty space beside me in the bed. “Where’s my Daddy?”
My heart slams.Think, Lola. Think.“He got up super early. He had to go and meet someone.”
The lie tastes like acid. But Ace told me to keep it quiet until we know what’s happening. No point terrifying a child who’s already lost his mother when his father might be home today.
“Can we make some breakfast?” he asks.
I smile. This kid. Even on the worst morning of my life, he makes it better just by existing. “Of course. If you head downstairs, I’ll quickly get changed, and I’ll be right there.”
“Okay!” He darts out of the room.
I let out a breath and check the time on my phone—seven a.m. I got home at one in the morning after seeing Hunter. I change fast, splashing water on my face, and head downstairs. Happy face on. Even though inside I’m crumbling.
“Pancakes?” I call as I walk into the kitchen.
Wyatt has already climbed onto the counter. He sits there cross-legged, watching me with those dark blue eyes that are so much like his father’s that it makes my chest ache. “With blueberries and syrup?”
“Whatever you want.”
And that’s how we spend our morning. Pretending. Making pancakes. Talking about Gary and the horses, and which cartoon is the best one. He debates the merits of every option with the seriousness of a Supreme Court justice.
And he makes me forget for a while.
Because I realize it isn’t just about me. This little boy is more important than my fear, more important than the knot in my stomach, more important than the image of Hunter’s face being pressed into the hood of a truck that I can’t stop replaying.
No matter what happens to Hunter, I will make sure Wyatt is okay. Because that is what I wanted. I signed the dotted line to make that happen.
This kid has grabbed my heart with his tiny hands and captured it alongside his father’s. There is no version of my life where I turn my back on him.
New Falls is my home. This ranch is my home. I am a Sterling now. And I will do everything in my power to be worthy of that name.
“After these, shall we watch a movie? I don’t feel like doing much today,” I say, setting the stacked plate between us.
“Yeah. Please don’t pick any of the boring ones my dad watches, though.”
I laugh. “Comedy or animation. You can pick, Wyatt.”
He grabs a pancake before the plate hits the table and drenches it in syrup, and we take our food into the dining room. A table built for twelve, and there are only two of us. The emptiness of the house presses in from every corner.