Other than Pops and Vanessa, I’d never had a true guest sit on that couch. Or look at the inside of my house. Being allowed into my sanctuary was a privilege. I wasn’t showing off that family room all willy-nilly—they had toearnit.
Home visits usually came after date six. By that point, I knew I’d sleep with them, but the extra two dates, and their meeting Gavin, were what kept my head on straight.
Date six was where the last one had gone off the rails—a disastrous meeting of his friends, where I found out that not only did he not viewour arrangement as exclusive, but I was also the butt of jokes for holding out on going to bed.
Thank you. Next.
Exhaustingwasn’t even the right word. It was something much deeper than that. To want something that feels so wildly out of reach sapped me of something vital. It would be one thing if I didn’t care. Or didn’t lie in bed at night and think maybe it would be nice to have someone there with me. To talk about our days and figure out what dinners we might make that week. To share the emotional load of life.
I did want that. And I wanted it enough that I kept trying.
But as I pulled my car into the garage and leaned my head against the headrest, I couldn’t deny that my entire existence seemed hell-bent against making romance a priority.
As the words floated through my mind, the garage door opened and Gavin poked his head through.
“You’re home!” he yelled.
His hair was wet, sticking up straight in the front, cheeks still rosy from the hot shower.
With a groan, I hauled myself out of the car and braced for the impact of his hug.
“Hey.” I kissed the top of his head. “You smell nice and clean. Did you soap up everywhere?” I asked meaningfully.
Gavin nodded. “Pits and privates got extra.”
“Excellent work.”
Analise was curled up on the couch when we came through the garage door, and her smile was bright and happy. “Hey, how was work?”
“Great. I’m exhausted.” Gavin leaned against me, and I curled an arm around him, soaking up the easy affection. “Did you two have fun? Were you a good, respectful child?”
“Yes and yes. We made chips and cheese for dinner, and then we playedMario Kartfor anhour.”
Analise grinned.
“Lucky boy,” I said.
“She helped me with my homework, even though she hates math too.”
I laughed. “Oh man, she’d fit in great at this house, wouldn’t she?”
Analise tucked her phone into her pocket and gave a self-deprecating shrug. “I’m not great at school, if I’m being honest. Reading makes my brain hurt and it’s so hard for me to focus, but I have enough tutors dragging me through my classes that I’ll graduate with a three-point-five.”
“That’s great,” I told her. “I was a solid B-minus student, and I did not lose sleep over that. My grandfather raised me, and it was a struggle to get him to help me with math because we ‘didn’t do it the old way.’ I’m just glad he didn’t expect A’s out of me.”
Gavin tugged on my arm. “Can I go have a bedtime snack?”
I glanced at the clock on the wall. “A quick one. A glass of milk and a graham cracker, okay?”
He groaned. “Can’t I have cereal?”
“Too much sugar. Take it or leave it, dude.”
Gavin heaved a dramatic sigh. “Fine.”
Analise smiled as he took off for the kitchen. “He’s a great kid.”
“Thank you. I kinda like him.”