She searched my expression like she was waiting for me to say something else.
But I didn’t.
Icouldn’t.
I wanted to tell her that sleeping with her now meant I was in. That she was it for me. That I wanted her reading in my chair and putting up Christmas trees with ugly ornaments. That I wanted to pick up Gavin from practice and help him with soccer in her tiny backyard. I wanted her in my life. Wanted to be in hers as much as she’d let me. And I still wasn’t sure she was ready to hear it. That same voice that whisperedcautiontold me that, even worse, she might not believe me.
“You have a lot more at stake than I do,” I said in a dull voice.
Reality had a nasty way of elbowing into the best moments, and it absolutely devastated this one. The pretty pink color ebbed from her cheeks as we stared at each other.
Remi sighed, staring down at her hands where they were clasped in her lap. “I wish I knew how to make our lives make sense together, Archer.”
“Me too, firefly. Me too.”
She gave me a sad smile as I helped her down from the counter. I handed her the hair tie that had fallen to the ground, and watched in fascination as a few loops of her hands twisted all her hair up off her neck.
Everything she did seemed to fascinate me, though. Wasn’t that part of the problem?
Remi was my addiction. And it didn’t help either of us for me to replace one unhealthy behavior pattern with another.
Before she walked out the door, I tugged on her hand and pulled her back into my arms, sighing when she returned the embrace and rested her head on my chest.
“I’ve never had anyone fight for me like that,” I admitted, pressing my nose into the crown of her head. “Thank you.”
Remi didn’t pull out of my arms right away, and knowing that this was hard for her helped, just a little. Even though I wanted her to be sure, and I wanted her to choose whatever was happening between us, I couldn’t fault her reasons for holding back.
The stakes for her were much higher, and I knew it.
When she pulled back, I saw the indecision in her eyes, the slight pucker to her brow. I smoothed my thumb over the lines there and smiled. “Drive safe, okay?”
There was a moment where I thought she might say something, might kiss me again as her gaze flickered to my mouth. But she didn’t.
Remi nodded and pulled out of my arms.
When she left, I stood on the front porch, leaning against one of the columns and watching her drive away. I did so knowing that she’d changed something fundamental inside me.
Or maybe I’d changed it, and she’d been the catalyst I needed. Allowing Remi to see more of me than anyone else ever had was upending my life as I knew it.
Carefully, I touched my cheekbone and winced.
Some things would heal on their own, and others ... well, they required a little bit more intentional action.
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and dialed a number I’d never called.
“Hey, it’s Archer Evans. I know it’s late, but I have a huge favor to ask, and you might be the only one who can pull it off.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Archer
It was a well-known fact that the two most intimidating people in the front offices were the team owner, Pearl—a stern octogenarian who took no shit from anyone and had outlived multiple husbands—and Coach’s executive assistant, Bridget. Everyone knew she held the real power in the building.
Lucky for me, I was facing both of them.
I approached with a polite expression on my face and clasped my hands in front of my body, in case I needed to protect my balls.
Pearl stood behind Bridget’s desk, wearing a pink tweed dress and a diamond necklace that probably cost more than my house. Anytime I was near, her facial expression resembled a faintly annoyed parent who still loved their kid but also fantasized about smacking the shit out of the back of their head.