“Other people are not puppets,” she said. “They make their own choices. Avery chose to weaponize your reading instead of taking responsibility for the cracks in her relationship. That’s on her. Not you. The trolls on TikTok are just shitty people.”
“But I’m the common denominator,” I protested.
“You’re the common witness,” she corrected. “There’s a difference. Look, I’m not saying you don’t contribute to thechaos. You probably do.” Her mouth curved. “But you also care deeply about other people and want to help.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “Zara doesn’t see it that way.”
“Zara is scared,” Agnes said simply. “She’s watched you get battered by life more than once. You come back, you’re happy, things are finally going right—new power, new place in the Order, new fella—and from her point of view, it probably looks like you’re standing in the middle of a lightning storm holding up a metal rod. She’s bracing for the strike.”
“That’s a poetic way to say she thinks I’m an eejit,” I muttered.
“She thinks you’re vulnerable,” Agnes corrected. “Sometimes fear for someone comes out sideways as control or as criticism. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. It means she loves you so much she’d rather push you away than watch you get hurt again.”
I took a shaky sip of tea, letting her words sink in.
“And Torin?” I asked, voice small.
“Torin,” she said slowly, “is a walking tree with feelings. Deep ones. He’s been half in love with you since before you left, whether he admitted it or not. Now that you’re back, there’s finally a chance to see what that could be, and he’s all in. And then Avery shows up, the old wounds get poked, your sister’s upset with you, and you ask him for space.” She lifted a brow. “Of course he looks like a kicked puppy. His worst fear is probably losing something he’s finally let himself want.”
Guilt twisted in my gut. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.”
“I know.” Her gaze softened. “And for what it’s worth, I don’t think asking for space was wrong. Boundaries are not punishment.”
“So why does it feel like I’ve ripped his heart out and thrown it in the loch?”
“Because you care about him,” Agnes said simply. “And because you’re used to seeing yourself as the villain in everyone else’s story. Try reframing.”
“Reframing,” I repeated faintly.
Bracken held up his paws and made a little square motion like he was framing a picture. Despite myself, I chuckled.
“Aye. Instead of ‘I’ve ruined everything,’ try ‘I’m allowed to take a breath while I figure out how to show up fully for the people I love.’” She lifted a shoulder. “And maybe, when you’re ready, you sit Zara down and say to her that you’re not shutting her out because you don’t trust her. It’s just that you’re trying to learn your own voice too. And you sit Torin down and tell him that you’re terrified but trying and ask him to be patient. Knowing him, he’ll build you a log cabin with his bare hands as a gesture of support.”
A watery laugh escaped me. “He would, wouldn’t he?”
“He would,” she agreed. “He also looks like he might cry if I tell him one more time that you’re fine. So do me a solid and talk to him sooner rather than later, hmm?”
“I will,” I said, resolve filling me. I was glad I’d decided to accept her invitation. This was the kind of stern but loving talking to that I needed to get my head on straight.
“Right,” Agnes said, turning back to me. “That’s enough emotional excavation for the moment. I did actually invite you here for a reason.”
“Giving out free therapy wasn’t the reason?”
“That’s just a bonus.” She leaned forward, eyes gleaming. “I want a reading.”
I blinked. “From … me?”
“No, from the squirrel,” she said. “Of course from you. You’re the chartweaver. I want to see what the threads say.”
A mix of pride and panic fluttered in my chest. “Are you sure? Chartweaving isn’t exactly…simple.”
“Nothing worth doing is simple,” she said calmly. “And if you’re going to be meddling with fate, better you practice on someone who knows what they’re in for.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, tilting my head at her.
For a moment, Agnes’s eyes grew sad as she looked across the room, and out the front window.
“I already know a lot of my fate. This will be a good test to see if you see the same.”