“It’s what you meant,” I fired back.
Silence crackled between us, as sharp as broken glass.
Mitch whined again and returned to Zara to put his paw on her foot. She reached down to stroke his head, her fingers trembling.
“Fine,” she said after a moment, voice brittle. “You’re seeing Torin. You’re an adult. You can sleep with whomever you want. I may think it’s a catastrophically bad idea, but I can’t stop you.” She inhaled slowly. “What I do need to talk to you about is the magick.”
Every muscle in my body tensed. “What about it?”
“Don’t do that,” she said sharply. “Don’t play dumb. I can feel you humming, Liora. Your aura is a mess of new colors. There’s something different about you and it is not just post-sex glow. Something happened.”
I stared at the knotted grain of the wood table in front of me, wishing I could sink into it.
“Okay,” I said finally. “Fine. Two things. Maybe three.”
“Start with the worst one,” she said without missing a beat.
I let out a slightly hysterical laugh. “That’s subjective.”
“Liora.”
“Right, right.” I chewed my lip. “I … may have accidentally hit Torin with a truth spell.”
She went very, very still.
“Explain,” she said, voice dangerously calm.
“Och, don’t use that tone, it makes me feel like a naughty ten-year-old,” I muttered. “It was the first night, when I got to the house. I found spells in Gran’s book and just thought I’d test one out. I thought I was alone. And Torin walked in.” I fluttered my hands. “Boom. Truth spell right to the face.”
Zara slapped a hand over her mouth like she was physically holding in a scream.
“It was an accident,” I rushed on. “I didn’t mean to. And we’ve been managing it. Mostly. He has to answer truthfully if I ask him something direct, but he can sort of…work around it if I don’t phrase things too pointedly, and he’s getting better at pausing before he speaks, and?—”
“Liora.” Her voice shook. “You took away a man’s ability to choose what he shares. You say it like you spilled tea on his shirt.”
Guilt washed over me, hot and sour. “I know. I know. I felt awful. But what was I meant to do? There’s no easy reversal, not until we figure out exactly what I did. And I’ve spoken to Sophie and Agnes and they’re helping me look into it. It’s not like I’ve just shrugged and gone, well, that’s his problem now.”
“Oh God,” Zara whispered, pressing her thumb and forefinger to her eyes. “This is why you didn’t tell me. Because you knew I would lose my mind.”
“I knew you’d make that face,” I said weakly.
“This isn’t about my face, Liora.” She dropped her hand. “Consent matters. In magick and everything else. How can he trust you? How can you trust that what he says is fully his, and not coerced?”
“It’s not like that,” I protested, sickness churning. “I’m not interrogating him. I’m not using it to…to catch him out or anything. Half the time it’s just him blurting some grumpy compliment and then glaring at me because he didn’t expect to say it out loud.”
“That’s not the point,” she said. “The point is that his free will was compromised and you’re living in his house and sleeping with him.”
The way she said it made my skin prickle with shame.
“I told him,” I said, my voice small. “He knows. I explained. He chose to keep me there. If he wanted me gone, trust me, I’d be gone.”
“He might also be lonely and terrible at boundaries,” she shot back. “Doesn’t mean this is healthy.”
I bristled. “You don’t even know him. You knew him years ago through Avery’s lens.”
“And you’re seeing him clearly through the lens of a spell you cast on him,” she said ruthlessly. “You don’t see why that might concern me?”
“Of course, it’s a concern,” I snapped. “I’m not a sociopath. That’s why I’m working to undo it. And in the meantime, we’re trying to be careful with each other. Honest.”