“I’d prefer to know what he did first. Then I’ll decide between relaxing in this bed or sharpening my knives.”
I roll my eyes. “No jokes about homicide.”
“Disagree,” Alex says.
“He said some shitty things. Unsupportive things,” I say quietly. “Things that make me worry he won’t be supportive of what you and Jen are trying to be better at, for Mia. He feels… threatened by that, I think.”
Alex is quiet for a moment. “Ted. I’m sorry he upset you, that he burdened you with that. But, it’s… not your burden to carry.”
I sit up suddenly, staring down at him. “Why not?”
Alex looks up at me, a little wide-eyed, surprised. “Because that’s for Jen to deal with and, at worst, for me to step up in support of her.”
“It is my burden to carry. Because it’s about Mia. And I love her. Because, if Ethan keeps being fucking Ethan, with his shitty attitude toward her and you and Jen trying to be together more as parents for her, he’llhurtMia,” I say thickly. Suddenly, my vision is blurry. Tears swim in my eyes. “You don’t know what it’s like, growing up around people who make you feel like your existence is a nuisance they’d rather not deal with. It’s terrible, Alex; she doesn’t deserve that—”
“Hey.” Alex yanks me down, grunting with pain as he does. He crushes me inside his arms, holding me tight as I cry quietly at first, then harder, turning to muffle my face against his chest.Everyone’s in bed, but it’s a small, echoey house. I don’t want Mia to hear me.
“Ted,” he whispers, kissing my hair.
I scrunch my eyes shut at the pain-pleasure of it. He doesn’t do it often, but whenever he does, it makes me ache so fiercely I feel like I’m going to collapse in on myself.
“Ted, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” I say hoarsely.
“Itwillbe,” he says. “Because I’m going to talk to Jen. And we’re going to hold Ethan accountable. He won’t hurt Mia. I promise.”
“You swear?” I pull back far enough to meet his eyes, clutching at his shirt.
He smiles softly, tucking a curl behind my ear, his gaze roaming my face. “I swear.”
Relief washes over me. I trust Alex. I know if he says he’ll do something, he’ll do it. I don’t know how exactly it will play out, what it will take, but I know he’ll make sure Mia’s safe, that she’s protected, that no one will get to make her doubt she’s loved.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Alex turns slowly, curling me in his arms so we’re both on our sides, face-to-face, heads resting on the same pillow. For minutes, we just look at each other, nothing but the roar of the ocean filling the room, the sounds of our steady breathing.
“Ted,” he says quietly, his fingers drifting through my curls. “I hate when you cry.”
“I know,” I tell him. “But you’ve never told me not to.”
He nods. “It kills me when you’re hurting, though. I want to go whip up a cake or a plate of pasta, put a smile on your face.”
“No more cooking for you,” I tell him. “You’re hurting, too, in case you think I didn’t notice.”
“Nah.”
I poke his stomach. “Honesty,” I remind him.
“Yeah,” he sighs, deflating. “I’m hurting.”
“Can I rub it?” I ask.
Alex bites his lip. I roll my eyes. “You really are a twelve-year-old inside.”
“Eternally,” he admits.
“Yourback,” I meant.