Chapter 1
Ivy
I'min the middle of explaining campus resources to a group of wide-eyed freshmen when I hear it.
A laugh. Low, familiar, sending ice down my spine.
I know that laugh. I knew it before I learned my own. I can pick that laugh out in the dark, in the specific way it changed when something was genuinely funny versus politely amusing.
I haven't heard it in three years.
"—and the library is open twenty-four hours during finals week," I continue, refusing to turn around. "You'll basically live there by December, trust me."
The freshman orientation group laughs. I'm supposed to be approachable, helpful. The cool mentor who makes Thornhill feel less intimidating.
I'm very good at performing.
"Any questions?" I ask, scanning their faces, carefully not looking behind me where that laugh came from.
A girl raises her hand. "What about Greek life? Is it worth joining?"
I launch into my prepared speech about fraternities and sororities, but my voice sounds distant in my own ears. Becausethat laugh, it's closer now. Moving through the crowd of orientation leaders and new students in the campus quad.
It can't be him.
He goes to Berkeley. Last I heard,not that I was checking,he was thriving there. Perfect grades, perfect internship, perfect life far away from me.
"—so ultimately it depends on what you're looking for in?—"
"Ivy Chen? Is that you?"
The voice cuts through my carefully constructed composure like a knife.
I turn.
And there he is.
Ethan Zhang stands ten feet away, surrounded by a small cluster of students, looking like he stepped out of a catalog for "what successful college guys wear." Dark jeans, fitted henley, leather jacket that probably costs more than my textbooks. His hair is shorter than I remember, styled instead of the shaggy mess he used to have. He's taller, broader, his jaw sharper.
Three years have been very good to him, and I hate it.
Three years ago, he destroyed me.
"Ethan." My voice comes out flat. Controlled. "What are you doing here?"
"Transfer student." He smiles, and it doesn't reach his eyes. Never did when he was lying. "Surprised to see me?"
Surprised. That's one word for the feeling of your entire chest cavity collapsing.
"Thrilled," I say coldly. "Welcome to Thornhill."
The freshmen are watching this exchange with confused interest. The other orientation leaders too. Everyone can feel the tension, thick and dangerous and completely inappropriate for a welcome event.
Ethan's smile sharpens. "Thanks. I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot of you."
I wonder if I can slap him.
"I'm sure you will. Campus is only so big." I turn back to my group, dismissing him. "Anyway, as I was saying?—"