He shakes his head slowly and glances up at the ceiling like he’s counting to ten, or maybe asking for patience from a higher power. Then he steps forward and places both hands on the end of my bed, leaning over it, caging me in without physically touching me.
His stare locks onto mine.
Unyielding.
Disappointed.
Angry.
His posture is intimidating as hell, and it drives home the fact that I’ve been a fucking idiot. Not just for what I did, but for what I didn’t do. For whom I didn’t go to.
“You. Put. Effa. In. Danger.” Each word is clipped but controlled, like he’s forcing himself not to explode.
“I did,” I admit immediately. There’s no point in deflecting. “It was unintentional. She was never meant to become a part of my crap. It just… spun out of control.” That excuse sounds weak even to my own ears.
He exhales through his nose and straightens, stepping back slightly, though there’s nothing relaxed about him. He rubs his chin, his eyes never leaving me. “I thought we had a rapport… you and me?” he says slowly. “I thought we understood each other, Mercs? You and I both have Effa and the band’s best interests at heart?”
“I always have Effa’s best interests at heart.” The words come out firm.
That much, at least, is true.
He raises an eyebrow and scoffs. “Bullshit! Then why the hell did you get involved with a bookie? Why didn’t you come to one of us for help if you were in debt? If you couldn’t go to Effa… if you weren’t comfortable going to your girlfriend for help…” He drags a hand through his hair, agitation breaking through his composure. “Jesus, I get the whole emasculation thing…” He pauses, closes his eyes, and sighs like he’s trying to dial himself down a notch before reopening them.
“We had a rapport, Mercs. You could have come to me. You could have explained your fucking situation with your sister…” His eyes soften slightly now, not losing their intensity, but shifting into something else. “I might look like a hardass. Hell, I act like it most of the time too, but I do have a register on the emotional scale. I know what it’s like to love people, to care about people… I have a sister too. Did you know that?”
That catches me off guard.
I raise my brow and shake my head. “No, I didn’t know that.”
“No. You didn’t.” There’s no accusation in his tone, just fact. “I think if you’d taken the fucking time to come to me and ask for my help…Fuck!Mercs, I would have given you the money in a heartbeat. It could have been a fucking advance on your salary. You only had to damn well ask. Because like you, my sister means everything to me, and if it were my sister needingthe money to help her get better, then I would do anything like you did to help her.”
He steps closer again, lowering his voice. “I know Jett got to you. I know he rubbed you the wrong way. But not going to Effa was stupid, foolish, and idiotic. Not coming to me? Even fucking worse. The only one who suffered because of your stubbornness, because of Jett… is Kiera.”
That lands.
Hard.
I stare down at the hospital blanket, my jaw tightening. “I never thought about coming to you, Luke. I just didn’t think for a second you would advance me the type of money I needed.”
He huffs and lets out a short, incredulous laugh. “Jesus, Mercs, I would have given it to you. And the money for the damn bookie. I looked up Kiera’s procedure on the net… the cost is anywhere from one to two hundred grand for it. Right?”
I nod once, my throat tightening.
He shakes his head again. “Mercs, I have that in spades. Effa has that in spades. Fuck, all of us do, and any one of us would have stepped up to help your sister. We’re all really fond of her, and we don’t want to see her become any sicker. If there’s one thing to come from all of this, I’m thankful that you came to your senses and let Effa give you the money for Kiera’s treatment before you got into any further trouble…”
Before you got killed.
The unspoken words hang there between us.
“Luke…” I drag in a breath, feeling the pull in my ribs. “Normally, I wouldn’t let people talk to me like this. But you know what? You’re right. And I need to take the slap down and shut the hell up. I need to take this like a man because you, the band, the crew, everyone, have been so damn good to my family and me.”
He studies me for a moment, assessing whether I mean it, then he nods slowly. “Yeah, well, we like you guys. But I swear to God, if youeverput Effa in a dangerous situation again—”
“Trust me, I won’t,” I cut in, my voice steady. “I love her too much.”
That part doesn’t waver.
He lets out a long, drawn-out breath, some of the tension finally easing from his shoulders. “Good. Glad to hear. Now rest up. The girls are still doing their show, and we have to move on tomorrow, but I suggest once you’re released from the hospital, you go home. Spend some time with your family, and then come back to the tour once Kiera is strong and healthy again.”