I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear those words from her, but they soothed some of the ache in my soul that had been taking a beating since I’d moved back to Floyd Hills, a failure with my tail between my legs. I wasn’t the same man I’d been then, only a year ago—but the problem was that I had no idea who the hell I was now. Staying in my apartment for three days hadn’t given me any answers, and it never would.
“Mom, I…I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” I admitted. “About Ollie.”
She brushed my hair off my forehead in a tender gesture. “I know you’re confused. I know this doesn’t make sense to you. And I know that Ollie expects nothing from you. He’s not that kind of person. Whether you can find the connection the two of you once shared is entirely up to you, but no matter what, I know that man will be there for you regardless of what you decide. He could be the best friend you’ll ever have.” When she blinked, a tear fell down her cheek, and she smiled at me and cupped my face. “And I think you need that, Reid. I really do.”
twenty-seven
OLLIE
REID WASN’T AT the Music Junction on Sunday for the piano class. I’d debated whether to go at all, but after deliberating for all of five seconds, I’d decided I wasn’t letting him or anyone else scare me away this time. He’d told me before his surgery to fight for him, for us, and that was what I planned to do. I’d be there for him, through all of the confusion, all of his anger. Because the fact was that Reid remembered me. Not everything, not nearly everything, but he knew who I was to him now. Or who’d I’d been. And though our fate rested solely in his hands, I would do everything in my power to tip the scales and give us another chance.
But as I lifted the edge of the paper on the classroom door that indicated the lesson had been canceled for the day due to sickness, I sighed. Reid sure wasn’t making this easy, was he?
As I got back in my car, I weighed my options. I could go by his place to check on him, see if he really was sick or avoiding me. I could drive over to his parents’ place. Or I could call him and see if he needed any chicken soup.
Going with option number three, I scrolled down to Reid’s number and pressed the call button, and then I pulled out of the parking lot. A few seconds later, his voicemail picked up, and Ihitendinstead of leaving a message. I hadn’t actually expected him to answer, not after the way he’d left my place a few days ago. I was hoping giving him time to cool off and deal with what he’d learned was the smart thing to do, but I had no idea how to play this. I wasn’t ready to lose Reid again, not now, not ever, but I didn’t want to come on too strong and scare him off either.
I’ll wait,I decided, heading toward my house instead of stopping by unannounced at either of his probable destinations. Maybe I’d check in with his mom later, feel her out on his mindset and go from there.
Jesus, it’s hot,I thought, flipping the air up as the afternoon sun fried me from all sides. In my attempt to look nice for Reid, I’d worn a dress shirt with a pair of pressed slacks, but now the clothes felt stifling, and I unbuttoned the collar, finally able to breathe. I was more than ready to get into some worn jeans and a damn t-shirt. As I pulled into my neighborhood, “Love Bites” by Def Leppard came on, and I turned the volume up to deafening as I sang along. God, the chorus was accurate right about now. Love did fucking bleed and bring you to your knees, didn’t it? I was in the middle of belting a high note as I reached my house when my voice faltered at the sight in front of me.
Reid was sitting on my porch.
My mouth clamped shut as I switched off the radio.Well I’ll be damned.
When he saw me pull in, he stood up, dusting his shorts off. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him so casual, but a white tank top, shorts, and flip-flops definitely worked for him. Fuckin’ hell, he was gorgeous, no matter what he wore. Or didn’t wear.Don’t think about that, for fuck’s sake.I kept my sunglasses on as I got out of the car, not wanting him to read too much into whatever look I threw his way, because I wasn’t sure what he’d see. Longing? Desire? Hurt? A combination of the three?
“Hi,” I said when I walked up, keeping things light as I came to a stop in front of him and assessed his mood. “Missed you at class today. You contagious?”
“Am I what?”
“The note on the door said you were sick.”
“Oh. I lied. I’m taking a mental health day.” Inclining his head toward the door, he said, “Can we talk?”
“Sure.”
He followed me inside, and I willed my hands not to shake, but fuck I was nervous. I didn’t know if it was a good thing he was here or not, or whether this visit would lead to somewhere good or somewhere I’d rather not think about. As we entered the living room, I tossed my keys on the entertainment center, and when I turned around, Reid regarded my outfit.
“You look”—he seemed to struggle for the word—“nice.”
“Thank you,” I said, surprised, but trying not to read too much into the fact that he’d noticed what I was wearing or that he thought I looked “nice.” “Actually, it’s a little warm, so I was gonna change into something a little more comfortable. Can you gimme a sec?”
“Okay.” He stood in the middle of the living room, not making a move to sit down, so I gestured around.
“Make yourself at home. Wherever.”
I changed quickly, and when I came back out, the door leading out onto the screened-in porch in the backyard was open, and I filled a couple of glasses with iced water before heading out to join Reid there. Without the sun shining down and with the fans going, it wasn’t too bad, and I was glad he’d decided to come out here. It felt too claustrophobic inside.
“Thanks,” he said, taking the glass I offered.
I settled into one of the Adirondack chairs across from him, set my glass on the table beside me, and waited for him to make the first move.
“Thanks for not slamming the door in my face. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had.”
“Slamming doors isn’t really my style.”
“No, of course not.” He shifted in his seat, crossing his ankles and then uncrossing them. “Ollie, I want to apologize for my behavior the other day. To say I was shocked might be the understatement of the year, and I reacted badly. I know I probably said some things that hurt you, and for that I’m so sorry.” He twisted his fingers in his lap. “I’ve been an asshole. Not just to you, but to everyone. I don’t want to be that way anymore.”