“Is that better?” he asked, taking my wrist again and looking at his watch for a full minute. Then he let go and adjusted the towel. “You can lie back if you want to.”
I could only stare at him. It was like I was looking at him through new eyes. The way he took such great care with me, completely putting aside any hurt from the night before to makesure I was okay… It was then that I realized how lucky I was that he’d been the one to pull me out of the car.
“I’m sorry, Ollie.”
“It’s okay. I’m just glad you made it here instead of passing out on the sidewalk.”
“No, I mean I’m sorry for last night.”
“Oh.” He lifted the water back up to my mouth for me to take a sip. “That’s okay too.”
“I was horrible to you. I feel like I’ve been horrible to everyone lately, and I was going to call you and tell you…I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve my wrath.”
Ollie’s eyes bored into mine from where he knelt in front of me, and then he nodded. “Thank you. Apology accepted.”
The easy way he forgave made my eyes sting, and I had to look down at my lap so he didn’t see it. After a moment, he got to his feet and went over to retrieve the bags he’d left in the hallway. I was tempted to go help him, but I didn’t think my legs were quite steady enough yet, so I watched as he slid the bags up his arm again and carried them into the adjoining kitchen. It was then that I got a good look of where I was. Sitting up, I took in the straightforward decor: cream-colored walls, oversized grey couches, an entertainment center with a TV that just barely fit inside it. Nothing fancy, but all well maintained, just like the man himself. But what surprised me the most was the piano in the corner of his kitchen.
“You have a piano?” I said, my brows pinching together. “But…you don’t play. Do you use it as a table?”
“Hah, very funny, smartass. I think what you mean is I don’t playwell. I do a pretty mean ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,’ though. My teacher may disagree.”
“Um. He’d probably say there’s room for improvement.”
“That would be far too kind of him,” Ollie said, chuckling. “So, just out of curiosity, how’d you find me?”
And there was the question I didn’t have an answer to. One I wanted to know myself. “I, uh, didn’t realize I had.”
Ollie continued unpacking the grocery bags and smirked. “Going door to door to ask for me, then? That’s stalker behavior, Reid. You could’ve just called me for my address.”
“No, I mean I didn’t know this was your house. I don’t know why I’m here.”
His hands froze as he looked up at me. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t either.” I leaned forward and ran my hands through my hair. “I-I was going for a walk, and I saw your house, and I swore that there was a loose brick on your porch step, and I had to…check. I don’t know why, but I had to see if I was right. And your walls?” I gestured down the hallway. “I knew what they looked like before I set a foot inside. Does that make sense to you? Does any of this make sense? Because I feel like I’m fumbling around in the dark, and when I’m awake all I see are these crazy images.”
“What kind of images?” Ollie asked, his voice flat and his hands still frozen.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you. I see you everywhere, but nowhere that makes any sense to me, and I’m just so fucking confused, Ollie.” Looking up at him, I gripped the back of my neck and said, “I don’t have any explanation for any of this. Not why I’m here, not how I know these things, none of it.”
Ollie’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and his eyes suddenly glistened with tears. “I know you don’t,” he whispered, his voice shaking as his hands curled into fists. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath, and when he let it out, he shook his head. “I’m sorry, Reid. I’m so sorry. But I can’t do this anymore.”
twenty-five
OLLIE
I DIDN’T KNOW what it was exactly that made me decide to tell Reid the truth. It could’ve been the desperate plea for help that I heard in his voice, or the way his eyes looked up at me, so full of sadness and doubt. But the time for hiding the truth was over. I’d never wanted to lie to him, but here he was, trying to piece the puzzle of his life back together, and I’d be damned if I didn’t give him what he wanted. What he deserved.
Coming back into the living room, I took a seat on the couch closest to where Reid sat in the recliner and rested my arms on my knees. There was a good possibility he’d hate me when I’d finished saying my piece, but for once, I wasn’t thinking selfishly. The man I loved was suffering, and if there was something I could do to help him, then I was going to do it. It’s what I should’ve done in the first place.
Not wanting him to think I had anything else to hide once the truth was out, I looked him straight in the eye. “I’ve gone about this all wrong, Reid. I’ve confused you even more, and for that, I’m so very sorry. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I promised your mom I’d help you, be there for you as a friend, but Reid… I can’t do that anymore.”
“But I told you last night was a mistake, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. Why can’t you—” His words came to an abrupt stop, and his brow furrowed. “Wait, did you say you promised my mom you’d be friends with me?” When I didn’t answer, he said, “Ollie, you know my mom?”
“Yes.”