Okay, I’d obviously steered us into an uncomfortable topic. It was one I wondered about often, though. I’d seen my ex, Natasha, recently, but it felt as though I was talking to someone I’d just met. It was hard to believe I’d spent years of my life with her when it all felt like a blur.
“Reid?” Ollie said. “Would you do me a favor?”
“Uh, sure.”
“Close your eyes.”
“Close my eyes? Why?”
“Just trust me.”
Something in his voice made me want to obey, so I did as he said. I shut my eyes.
“Keep them closed until we’re clear,” he said.
“Until we’re clear of what?”
“If I told you, it would negate the reason for you to have them shut in the first place.”
“Ollie—”
“Please, Reid.”
Please, Reid. There’d been an edge of alarm in his words, and that had me wondering what the hell was going on. But I kept my eyes closed and leaned back, listening to the rain as I waited for him to give me the okay.
A few seconds later, red and blue lights flickered against my lids, and they opened involuntarily before I had a chance to process what those colors actually meant.
The scene in front of us was like something out of a horror movie. There were police cars everywhere, fire trucks, at least two ambulances that I could see, but it was the wreckage in the middle, three cars piled up against each other, that had my heart stopping.
Then there was a flash in my memory, of something slamming into me, glass shattering, the air bags detonating from all around.
“Oh my God,” I said, as my chest seized. Suddenly I couldn’t get enough air. The sight of the mangled cars, the rescue lights flashing… It felt all too familiar. Too much to take.
Ollie’s voice cut through the images that wouldn’t stop playing. “Reid, I’m gonna need you to bend over and put your head between your knees. Do it now.”
I tried to catch my breath, but the panic attack was strong. Ollie’s hand went to my back as I leaned over and gasped for air.
“It’s okay,” he said, soothing me like one would a frightened animal. “They’ve got it under control. You’re in here and you’re safe.”
But I didn’t feel safe. My right side felt like someone had taken a bat to my ribs, and my head hurt something fierce.
This isn’t real. Breathe. Just breathe.
I was vaguely aware of Ollie talking me through it, and a few seconds later, he’d shoved a bag under my nose for me to breathe into.
Steady breaths.It’s not real. I’m alive. There’s no pain. It’s not real.
I had no idea how long I stayed bent over, struggling to right my world once again, but the whole time Ollie’s hand stayed on me, his presence keeping me grounded.
As my breaths began to slow back to normal, I pulled the bag away and I dropped my head into my hands. “Fuck.”
“It’s okay. Let it pass. There’s no rush.”
I couldn’t seem to think of anything other than the wreckage, the one we’d just seen as well as the one my mind was showing me. Had that been me in that car, lying on top of an air bag? It seemed real but…not. Like I was watching it happen but could still feel the pain. Was it real or was my brain making shit up now?
Was I going crazy?
After a while, I sat back up, and Ollie held out a travel cup. “Would you like some water?” he asked.