“I believe you.”
A long moment passed where he just looked up at me, those big brown eyes open and searching mine, like he was trying to come up with an answer to a question only he could hear.
“I don’t know why I’m saying these things,” he whispered, finally breaking the silence. “They’re supposed to stay in my head.” He reiterated his statement by tapping on his temple and letting out a self-deprecating chuckle.
Christ, he was too fucking cute for his own good.
“S’okay. I like hearing your thoughts.”
“Yeah? Well… Tell me something.”
“Okay.”
He toyed with his bottom lip between his teeth again, as if gearing up to ask a loaded question and he wasn’t sure what my response would be. “Do you ever get lonely? In that big house of yours, all by yourself?”
“Big house?” I laughed. “Hardly.”
“You’re deflecting the question.”
“Such a serious question. You feeling the Crown?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. You still haven’t answered.”
“Do I get lonely?” Pushing off the floor with my feet, I rocked the chair back and forth as I thought over his query. Did I get lonely? Usually I was too busy to think about it, and I had great friendships at work and outside it. But did I get lonely? Sure, I did, especially when Reid walked out my door. “I guess I do.”
“When?”
“At night, mostly. Sometimes I can’t sleep, and…” I sighed before admitting, “It’d be nice to have someone…”It’d be nice to haveyouthere.
Reid laid his cheek on his arms. “I can’t sleep either. I wake up from nightmares. Ones I remember and others I don’t.”
It was an honest confession, and one that hit me hard. He always seemed so calm with what had happened to him, that it was hard to reconcile the easygoing man with the one who’d gone through such a terrible ordeal. But of course he was terrified, even if his fears only manifested in his dreams. Reid had never showed himself fully to me that way, but then again, why would he lay all his worries and sadness at the feet of someone he was getting to know? I was the person helping him to, for lack of a better word, forget.
“Can I call you?” he said. “If we’re both awake in the middle of the night? Maybe we can help each other sleep.”
There was such a sweet innocence in his words that I wanted to lean over, capture his face between my hands, and meld our lips together until the outside world disappeared. With him, maybe I wouldn’t be so restless, and maybe with me, he wouldn’t be so frightened.
“Anytime,” I said. “You can call me, day or night, anytime.”
He smiled at me then, seemingly satisfied with that answer. But then his forehead wrinkled, and he said, “It’s a shame, you know.”
“What is?”
“I know you said you’re busy and don’t have time for a relationship, but…you’re this really great guy, and it seems like a shame that you don’t have anyone to share yourself with.”
My heart constricted, and I had to look down at my lap so he didn’t see the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes.
But my shuddering breath must’ve given me away, because he said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. But I just think…you deserve to be happy. And I get the feeling maybe you’re not?”
God, where was that coming from? Could he see right through me?
“Thank you for saying…all of that. But I’m okay.”I just didn’t realize how empty my life was until you filled it.
“You can always call me,” he said, just as he let out a big yawn. His eyes began to shutter, but I knew I needed to get him home before he was too far gone to wake up. I let him rest a bit while I poured the liquor back into the bottle of Crown, stowed it away, and then rinsed out the glasses. He wasn’t easy to rouse, and once he was up, he was content to walk down the stairs half-asleep, and I had to keep a hold on him so he didn’t fall over. Apparently, once Reid was out, he wasout.
I unlocked my car and helped him inside, and when I got behind the wheel, I heard him say my name softly.
“Thank you for today.” Reid’s words slurred a little, betraying his exhaustion as he closed his eyes again and rested his head against the doorjamb. I’d kept him out too late, but it was never easy to leave him, and I felt the growing urge to soak in as much time as I couldwhileI could. Who knew how long I had him for, when he’d decide to move on?