“Thank you,” he said, without missing a note. The way his hands glided so gracefully over the keys was mesmerizing, andI knew without a doubt that I could watch him play for hours. I wanted to ask him where he’d learned to play. I wanted to ask him so many things, but for now, I was content to listen.
“Someone came to visit me today,” he said quietly.
“Oh?”
“She said we dated for several years.”
I ignored the sting in my chest. “You don’t remember her?”
“Not really. Natasha was her name. She was nice, though. Beautiful. I can see why I’d be attracted to her.”
The way he spoke so nonchalantly about his past love—a woman—only served as a reminder that Reid wouldn’t ever be an option for me. It slapped me dead in the face, as if to say,Wake up, stupid,and I couldn’t help but flinch. It wasn’t as though I’d forgotten Reid was straight. No, it was more like the thought hadn’t occurred to me to even matter. We were just getting to know each other, but faced with the knowledge of a woman in his past… Well, shit. That was painful, even though it shouldn’t be.
“She helped me piece together a few things,” Reid said, as his long, elegant fingers danced across the keys. “I had wondered why I’d gone into teaching when all I ever wanted to do when I was younger was tour the world playing music. Turns out”—his hand drifted down to the end of the keys, and a twinkling flutter of notes rang out—“I did.”
My brows lifted. “You toured? Playing the piano?”
“Mhmm. Natasha had a scrapbook of photos she’d kept of me at different venues all over the country. Small venues, of course, nothing major, but still. I was doing it.”
“Did she”—I swallowed—“mention your relationship at all? Why you broke up?”
“This is gonna sound strange, but…I didn’t know what to say to her. I’ve asked you, someone I barely knew in my other life, a hundred questions, yet this person I supposedly spent two yearsof my life with, nothing.” The melody changed then, swirling to a heated rumble of low notes. “She showed me the photos of us together, traveling, spending holidays with my family. It felt like I was looking at someone else’s life. I don’t understand it. I just get so…angry. There’s all these blank spaces, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing, or who I am, or how to get my life back.” He battered the keys as his emotions poured out. “Or even if I want that life back. From what I’ve seen, I can’t say that I do. Like… I want to start over. Fresh slate, new start, but I don’t even know how to do that—” He choked on his words and jerked his hands back.
In the silence that filled the room without the music, the only sound that could be heard was his breath coming out in ragged pants. Without thinking it through, I put my hand on his back, wanting somehow to relieve him of the panic and frustration that warred inside him. He didn’t move away, letting me rub slow circles along his spine as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m trying so hard.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to be brave all the time.”
Reid let out a strangled laugh. “Says Superman.”
“I’ll tell you a secret,” I said, and waited until his eyes were on mine. Sadness swirled in their brown depths, and I wished to God I could wipe it away. Give him the fresh start he needed. There was something so trusting about the man sitting beside me, and it was why I didn’t hesitate in what I said next. “I’ve never been as scared as I was the day I saw you facedown in your car. I think I prayed more that day than I ever have in my life.”
“Really?” he said. “Why?”
“Because you were somebody to me, whether we knew each other or not. I knew your life could depend on how fast I could get you out of that car. How quickly we could get you stabilized and to the hospital. I guarantee you I wasn’t feeling very brave then.”
Reid’s eyes welled as I held his gaze, so he could feel the truth of my words. I didn’t care if he saw through me then; I only wanted him to feel the human-to-human connection he so desperately needed.
He swallowed hard before dropping his eyes, his lids falling shut. “Thank you, Ollie.”
“You’re welcome, Reid.”
Straightening again, he took a deep breath, and I dropped my hand from his back. My arm brushed alongside his, sending goosebumps down my spine and a visible tremor through Reid. Then he began to play, his fingers gliding across the keys once more.
The melancholy from earlier shifted into something more peaceful, almost like a lullaby I could fall asleep to.
“I like this one. Do you know what it is?”
“I’m not playing this from memory,” he said softly, and as he continued to make up the song as he went along, I let my eyes drift shut. All too soon, though, it was over, and Reid chuckled as he pushed into me.
“I made you fall asleep. That’s not good,” he mused, though his lips curved up.
“I don’t think I’ve been so relaxed in weeks. I could listen to that song every night.”
“I’ll take that compliment.”
“You should. It was beautiful.” I glanced over to see if the woman was still around, but after Reid’s emotional display, she must’ve slipped off to the back to give us some privacy. “You know, I think the woman who works here was your teacher.”