“Would you just shut up a minute so I can tell you myself what’s bugging me?” Sighing, I struggle to form words for my recent feelings.
“First, for the most part, kissing Noi is just like kissing a girl.”
Koman makes a face.
Ignoring him, I continue, “And, no, it isn’t ruining our friendship. But it is an adjustment. I mean, it’s going smoothly and all, but like I said, it’s messing with my head. For instance, do you know P’Wisit?”
“Of course. Who doesn’t?”
“Yeah. Well, he’s been spending an awful lot of time talking to Noi the last several weeks. I mean, why would he give so much of his attention to a first-year student?”
Koman shrugs. “I guess there could be a lot of reasons. Are you saying you’re jealous?”
I nod.
Koman frowns. “And?”
“And…don’t you think that’s weird? That I’m jealous? I don’t get jealous when Noi talks to other people.”
“Noi doesn’t talk to other people,” Koman says. “But I don’t think it’s weird. My best friend stayed in our hometown to go to school, and lately he’s been talking about this guy he’s been hanging out with. Makes me wonder if our friendship isn’t important to him anymore, you know? I’d say being jealous is normal between friends.”
I think about that. “I guess so. Maybe it’s because I’ve always watched over Noi and feel protective of him, so I consider this senior who comes out of nowhere a threat.”
Koman and I have talked about this before, after he noticed how I insist on walking Noi back to his dorm at night and how I check on him frequently. I told him my protectiveness is because Noi’s naïve, and I need to watch out for him. There’s more to it, though. No one knows except for me and my family. Not even Noi. At least, not consciously.
“I don’t think P’Wisit is the type to hurt Mee Noi. Maybe they just have something in common,” Koman says. “What does Mee Noi say? You’ve asked him, right?”
“He just thinks P’Wisit is watching out for him, but that doesn’t make any sense. They’re not even in the same faculty.” Could I have imagined the way P’Wisit looked at Noi? I’m pretty sure he was dating a girl at the beginning of the year. “Have you ever seen him with a guy? I mean, like, dating one?” I ask Koman.
“What? No. But I have seen him with at least a dozen girls. I think you’re worried for nothing.” Koman’s phone buzzes again, and he pulls it out of his backpack and checks it.
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense I would feel threatened by another guy trying to take my best friend awayfrom me. Noi and I are tight, and I’ve never had to compete for his attention before.
“I’ve got to go, Waan’s waiting for me. See you later.” Koman stuffs his empty drink bottle into his backpack and hurries out of the theater.
Since it’s close to time to meet Noi for lunch, I pack up my stuff and start for the canteen.
On the walk there, I run through my conversation with Koman again. I can’t really see P’Wisit taking my place in Noi’s life. They’re nothing alike—P’Wisit’s involved in a lot of activities and shit that Noi wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. What have they got in common? Maybe Noi’s right about him just being nice. It could be a club thing, like something to do with helping out juniors.
As I draw close to the canteen, I hitch the strap of my bag higher on my shoulder and step out of the stream of students heading for various food stalls so I can scan the crowded area for Noi. Our usual table’s full, and I don’t see him there. Finally, I spot him at a table a little farther away, sitting with P’Wisit. Noi’s backpack is beside him, and I know he’s using it to save me a seat, but he isn’t watching for me. His attention is fully on whatever P’Wisit is saying to him.
The annoyance I’ve been feeling concerning P’Wisit returns tenfold. What is it about the way he looks at Noi that makes me feel like punching something?
My phone dings with a text message from Koman.
Waan says P’Wisit is bisexual. He had a boyfriend last year.
I freeze. My instincts were right.
I should tell Noi. I’m sure he has no idea. He can make it plain to P’Wisit that he isn’t interested.
How do you know he’s not interested?
Fuck this. I’m too wound up to eat, particularly if I have to watch P’Wisit staring at Noi the whole time. Turning, I head out of the canteen.
“Ai Sud! Wait!” Noi stops beside me wearing a bewildered frown. “Where are you going? Didn’t you see me? You were looking my way, and I’ve been waving at you from the table. I got here late and couldn’t find a place at ours.”
“So, you went to sit with P’Wisit?” I ask.