He launches into advice immediately.
“Don’t overthink everything,” he says. “Just listen to her. Ask questions. Let it happen naturally.”
Naturally.
I nod like I understand how to do that.
He keeps talking, outlining strategies, warning signs, conversational lifelines. I absorb none of it. I’m too focused on maintaining the illusion that I am exactly as nervous as he expects me to be and no more.
The whisky settles heavily in my system, warm and stabilising and dangerous.
He doesn’t notice.
Or maybe he does, and chooses not to comment.
By the time he finishes his pint, my heart has started racing again, the alcohol and adrenaline mixing into something unstable.
He sets his glass down.
“Time,” he says.
The word lands like a verdict.
He stands, clapping my shoulder again.
“You’ll be fine,” he says. “Just don’t panic.”
I nod.
Because that’s the only response available to me.
He heads in the opposite direction, back toward Emma, toward certainty and ease and everything I’ve never been able to access so effortlessly.
I turn toward Bella Italia.
Each step feels heavier than the last.
And beneath the fragile calm created by whisky and beer, one undeniable truth waits patiently.
I am not ready for this.
But I’m going anyway.
Chapter 4
Phil
Bella Italia is onlya few minutes from the Cricketers, but the walk feels longer. The air is cool, the alcohol lingering heavily in my bloodstream, creating the illusion of calm without the reality of it. My thoughts move slower now. Softer around the edges. Less sharp. Less dangerous.
It’s like someone has taken the panic that usually lives inside my chest and wrapped it in cotton wool. It’s still there. Still present. But muted. Manageable.
I reach the restaurant and pause outside the door, staring at my reflection in the glass. The man looking back at me appears normal. A little flushed, maybe. His eyes slightly brighter than usual. But nothing alarming. Nothing obvious. He doesn’t look like someone standing on the edge of making a complete fool of himself.
Nobody would know.
That thought reassures me more than it should.
I step inside.