To save us from a love that was sure to hurt us both.
“We should go,” I said, realising Duncan was waiting. We’d have time to talk, and there was much to be said.
He released me, but not before he placed a tender kiss on my head. “It was only ever you,” he croaked, then turned and walked away.
Chapter 29
Killian
When all was packed, Harvey gave the driver an address and settled into the back of the car with me. Duncan waved from the pavement, probably glad to be out of it.
He took my hand and said nothing.
I let him.
He gazed out of the window as we sped through the city.
I was so fucking mad at myself for getting sick. I hated cancelling gigs, but there was no way I could carry on singing with no voice. It’d be fucked up for good if I did, and then where would I be?
At least it wasn’t too late. Cutting the concert short meant it was only just ten. I’d be just finishing now, taking a bow and feeling ecstatic.
My heart sank, knowing I’d disappointed so many people. It’d cost, but I was happy to refund the money. Hopefully, we’d be able to rearrange the next few and keep losses to a minimum.
At least I got time to spend with Harvey. Fate sometimes had a way of taking us in a direction we’d never planned. Take Harvey and me. Who knew two people so opposite could form such a bond? The pain and hurt from years ago still lingered, but maybe it was time to put that behind us and see where this would lead. He wasn’t forgiven. Not yet.
It was no coincidence that I’d never found solace in the beds of others. Did that mean I’d been celibate for the last three years? No, but sex had turned into an outlet, but only when I needed one. The rest of the time, I made do with my hand.
When band members invited me to after-show parties, I’d mostly declined, choosing to go back to my hotel alone. Gone was bad boy Killian, but I’d already lived through all that, and doing it all over again seemed more trouble. Even though Harvey and I had never progressed to anything more than blowjobs and hand jobs, intimacy seemed wrong with anyone else.
I looked over at Harvey and squeezed his hand. “Almost there,” he said, and went back to looking out the window.
Thank fuck for that because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stay awake.
Exhaustion filled my bones. I ached all over, my skin hurt to touch, and don’t get me started on my throat. Swallowing razor blades would have been less painful.
We’d gone through the tunnel, sped down a motorway, and we were now winding our way through narrow roads and picturesque villages. Where did he say he lived? I didn’t think he had, but this suited him somehow. The city had never been him, and he’d talked before it happened of selling up and moving.
Before long, we pulled up outside a cute house with a large driveway and garden.
“We’re here,” he said and let go of my hand.
He took my bags from the driver and led me to the front door. I was on my last legs at this point.
The house itself looked cosy. Not at all like the bare apartment I lived in. It had never been like a home. Nowhere had, least of all the place I’d been in before I bought my place in Liverpool.
Harvey put everything down and helped me into the kitchen.
“Sit here. I’ll put the kettle on and make some tea. I have some honey. That should help. Are you hungry? Can I get you something to eat?”
I shook my head. What I really needed was sleep. I pulled my phone out and typed a message. “Drink, then bed.”
“Got it. I’ll take your bags up and shake down the duvet.” He seemed nervous, flitting from place to place, but there was no need to be. It was just me.
With the kettle safely on the Aga, he left the room. A small orange face appeared, swiftly followed by an equally orange feline body.
This must be Jasper. I put my hand down and called him over. Reluctantly, he walked towards me to sniff me. Obviously satisfied I was no threat, he wound his way through my legs, rubbing himself as he went.
I ran my hand down his back and along his tail. Surprising me, he hopped into my lap and nuzzled my face. His fur was so soft, I couldn’t help running my fingers through it. He purred loudly, then clawed at my thighs before curling into a ball.