There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but only one seemed important.
“How was he, you know, after he found me?” I shifted in my seat, worried at what he’d say.
“Broken, physically and emotionally. I think you should ask him these questions. I can only tell you what I saw.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant for it to happen that way.” I'd given no thought to what would happen if I was found and it was only when I was in Ireland that I thought about how my actions would have affected him. Too little, too late.
“Hey, mental health is something we’re all still learning about. The important thing is that you’re well, and Killian would be the first one to tell you that, as much as it hurt.”
“Thank you for being there for him when I couldn’t.”
“Just don’t hurt him again. He might seem strong and confident, but deep down, he carries his own share of demons, and not just because of you.”
With that, he disappeared, leaving me to ponder what he meant. I knew Killian had issues with drink and drugs, losing his brother, and how his family had treated him, but what other demons did he have?
We’d agreed to be friends. I had to hope we would be as open as we’d been when we first met. Except then, I'd been hiding the most important thing from him.
I sipped the water and looked at the audience. Most were middle-aged women, as Steph had said, but there was a sprinkling of men in the audience, and some younger girls, but it was obvious who he appealed to.
After all this time, he still appealed to me in a big way.
I’d chosen to ‘forget’ him these past few years, and mostly, I’d been successful, but sometimes I missed his embrace, missed the smile he always had for me, and I even missed his teasing.
Most of all, it was his compassion. I hadn’t experienced that too much in my life.
As the lights dimmed and the curtain rose, instead of Killian on the stage, there stood Duncan.
“Ladies and gentlemen. Killian is sorry, but because of ill health, he’s unable to continue with the rest of the performance.”
There were groans and boos all round, but what was he to do? Even I knew he couldn’t go on the way he was without damaging the little voice he had left.
“You will, of course, be offered a full refund should you want it, and tickets to a future event. He sends his heartfelt apologies, but he cannot continue.”
Murmurs spread throughout the theatre.
“I’ve travelled all day to get here…”
“Well, that’s just ridiculous…”
“Hmm, I’ll be getting my money back, that’s for sure…”
What the fuck? The Killian I knew wouldn’t have done this for no good reason, and it was on the tip of my tongue to say something, but I sat quietly and waited.
I wanted to see him before I set off for home and make sure he was going to be okay. Friends did that, didn’t they?
The theatre emptied, and I made my way downstairs to wait in the lobby.
“Sir, we’re about to close the doors. You’ll need to leave.”
“I’m waiting for Killian.”
“I’m sure you are, sir, but the event has ended, and we’re going to need you to leave.”
I held my hand up to protest, but a firm hand on my back guided me towards the door.
“Wait.” I turned to see Duncan hurrying towards us. “It’s fine. He’s a friend, and Killian would like to see him.”
The security man removed his hand and smiled apologetically.