“I’ve gotta say, Harv, for a man that’s never kissed anyone before, you sure did a good job.” He adjusted the still erect cock in his jeans, the large outline still visible.
“Maybe we could try again a little later?”
“I’m down with that. How about we go play some Xbox and chill? We’ll leave the Netflix for later.”
I frowned. “I don’t have Netflix.”
“It’s a joke, Harv. Netflix and chill? Never mind.” He clapped me on the back. “Xbox it is.”
For the rest of the afternoon, we played games until the chilli was ready.
This time, there were no issues with burns and, thankfully, no drama.
“What time do we need to leave?” I asked as we put the last plate away.
“We’re good for another half an hour. Can you think of anything we can do in the meantime?” He smirked and leant against the kitchen worktop.
What was he suggesting?
“What did you have in mind?”
“Well,” he took a step towards me, “how about we carry on where we left off? But only if you want to.”
Oh, I wanted to.
I took hold of his shirt, and in a bold move, pulled him closer.
“You mean like this?”
I kissed him and didn’t hold back. I gripped the back of his neck and plastered myself to him, making sure he knew just how much I wanted this.
He held my waist, gently at first, but the longer we kissed, the harder his hold became, as if he didn’t want to let me go. His lips moved against mine, insistent and with an urgency that almost knocked me off my feet.
Beneath my clothes, a tingle began to spread, the all-too-familiar sensation.
No, I couldn’t let it happen. This was right, I knew it was.
Deviant.
No. No. No. I refused to let them in.
I faltered and stepped away, my chin resting on my chest.
“Harvey? Look at me.” Killian’s finger lifted my face until I was looking into his blue eyes, so full of understanding. “Deep breaths. Everything is going to be okay. Do you believe me?”
I didn’t know why, but I believed him. I believed he could help me overcome this, that he alone could drive away the demons that resided deep within me. The demons that screamed in the middle of the night, the ones that told me I was a monster, that I was just like them.
“I believe you.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I want to scratch at my skin until it bleeds.” I rubbed a hand up my clothed arm, the temptation so close to the surface.
“I’m going to be here to stop you from doing that. Understand? I’m always going to be here to protect you from yourself.”
I leant into his hand as he stroked down my face, and I closed my eyes.
If anyone could help me, I knew it was Killian. In the short time I’d known him, the urge to cut myself had lessened, despite our relationship being the very thing that started me on the journey in the first place. His friendship had shown me there was more to life than the solitary one I led, and as slowly as the gentle touch of his hand continued its path, my head and heart settled. The tingling dissipated, my heart rate returned to something resembling normal, and my breathing slowed.