By this time, we were in the lounge. Again, it needed some modernisation, but it was clean. A marked improvement on my place. It was better than it had been when Seth last visited, but it still needed work. No way I’d let Harvey in there.
“What was your favourite subject in school?” I wanted to keep the conversation light.
He sat in one of the armchairs. I sat on the sofa, almost facing him.
“I enjoyed computer science and maths. I’ve never been very eloquent, so English passed me by. What about you?”
“Well, computer science wasn’t a thing when I was at school. Music was my thing. I loved it and spent my lunch hours in the music room, playing guitar, piano. Any instrument I could get my hands on.”
“How many do you play?”
I blew out a breath. “Now you’re asking me.” I ticked each one off on my fingers. “Guitar, piano, ukulele, flute, and drums, of course.”
“So, you could be your own Irish band.” He laughed again, and it was like talking to a different person.
“You’re right there. I could be a one-man band.”
I sipped at my drink and watched him closely. In all the time I’d known him, other than yesterday, I’d never looked that closely at him. He’d always look away or hide his face. But tonight, I could see him. Really see him.
His clothes were better than mine, but that wasn’t difficult: blue-black jeans and a plain grey long-sleeved shirt. His brown eyes shone in the lamplight, almost liquid in appearance. Short brown hair and a beard to match, which did nothing to hide the sharpness of his cheekbones or the set of his jaw.
I was sure many wouldn’t have found him attractive, but his vulnerability drew me in. His good looks were a bonus.
He fiddled with his fingers as the silence stretched.
“So…”
“What…”
“You first, Harvey.”
He sipped his drink, and while he was a changed man from last week, his nerves simmered beneath the surface. The small smile, slightly crooked, not as bright as before.
“I’ve done nothing like this before.” He waved his hand around. “No one has stepped foot in this house since Grandma died.”
“No one at all?”
He shook his head, “It’s like I said. I’m a loner. Having you here takes a lot of courage on my part. I just wanted you to know that.”
“Just friends, Harv. Nothing else. I’m not that kind of man.” I’d never coerce or force anyone to do anything against their will, least of all someone like Harvey. The nerves, the worry on his face… I knew it had taken a lot to invite me, let alone let me in.
“I know. That’s what my therapist said.” He paused for a moment. “Look, you should know I have a lot of issues, so, you know, if you want to leave, if it’s not something you think you can deal with, I understand.”
“Hey, it’s no problem at all. We all have our issues.” Time to be candid. “I’m a recovering addict. Well, drug addict. I didn’t give up drinking until a week ago. I realised a few things. Reconsidered my life, you know?”
He took a deep breath. “I did the same. I’m not sure if I can do it, but I have to try.”
“Of course you do. For me? I can’t go on the way I am, fucking around and getting nowhere fast. I’ve been here long enough now. I realised I’ve got to let go of a few things, including friends,if I want to make anything of myself. Time is running out. I’m thirty-five, not twenty-five.”
“You don’t look it. Fuck, I wish I looked as good as you do and I’m younger.”
That wasn’t true. He had an innocence about him, a naivety, but that was probably because he’d closed himself off to the outside world.
“Do you get out much? I know you said you don’t have any friends.” How difficult it must be to go through life with no one to rely on? What if something happened?
“I go to work, and that’s it. The past two weeks have been a complete anomaly. Other than a trip to the tattoo artist and the supermarket.”
“Who do you talk to?” I couldn’t imagine not talking to anyone from one day to the next.